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bonus friday hax chat q: she's invited to a wedding she'll have to travel to, but the invite is only for her. should she ask if BF can come with?

Posted by moles (aka chris) Apr 15 '11, 10:38

Plus one?

A very close friend is getting married over Memorial Day weekend and I have been invited without my boyfriend (both the bride and groom know my boyfriend and know we are getting married next summer). I am the only one invited without a date, the wedding will involve over 450 miles of travel and an expensive hotel room, and it will be my only opportunity to take any vacation this summer. Oh-- and my friend and his fiance dated many years before getting engaged so they know the plus one drama. I can't help but being bitter about it. I know it is completely inappropriate to ask if I can bring my boyfriend, but do you have any words of wisdom to make me a little less bitter?

Responses:

If you are going to tack on more vacation days, bring him on the trip, but attend the wedding without him. - Amy Apr 15, 10:42 10
- i get this, but i think i'd be pretty hurt if i went away with my gf for a trip and she went to a wedding, of people i know, without me. -- nm - Andie Apr 15, 10:44 9
  - Dudes, can I get a ruling here? - Name Withheld By Request Apr 15, 10:44 6
    - Spawn: Delighted. -- nm - Amy Apr 15, 10:46 1
      - And, if he's not invited they probs don't get along anyway. -- nm - Amy Apr 15, 10:47
    - I would be slightly annoyed. - znufrii Apr 15, 10:45 3
      - That's my thinking. The non-invite only comes if you only "know" them but aren't friends w/o your girl as go-between. - Name Withheld By Request Apr 15, 10:47 1
        
        [deleted]
      - this -- nm - Beaker Apr 15, 10:46
  - yeah, that's not cool. -- nm - loosilu Apr 15, 10:44 1
    - especially considering he probably has to pay for the travel and it's costing him vacation time. -- nm - loosilu Apr 15, 10:44
oooh, that's tough. i firmly believe in the the 'you can't ask' rule, so i think in this case i would *call* my friend to regretfully decline - Andie Apr 15, 10:41 3
- I miss Miss Hazzard -- nm - zork Apr 15, 10:47
- this -- nm - oblique Apr 15, 10:45
- this is probably the best way to handle it -- nm - znufrii Apr 15, 10:42
she should ask. I have to wonder why he's not invited, though. -- nm - loosilu Apr 15, 10:41
don't go. -- nm - decline Apr 15, 10:41 1
- that was Carolyn's advice - moles Apr 15, 10:42
I would ask. the fact that she's asking if she should ask means that her definition of "very close" is different to mine. - amanda jones Apr 15, 10:40
I'm curious about the only one not invited with a date. - Will Hunting Apr 15, 10:40 3
- oh, another good point. did the bride once jam her boyfriend? -- nm - amanda jones Apr 15, 10:40 2
  - Or they want to get the friend drunk and invite her into the mix. -- nm - Name Withheld By Request Apr 15, 10:43 1
    - "make sure you bring your keys." - amanda jones Apr 15, 10:43
bring him -- nm - Beaker Apr 15, 10:39 4
- never bring an uninvited plus one to a wedding. -- nm - loosilu Apr 15, 10:42 3
  - if they didn't invite the BF and they are getting married, they are unlikely to remain friends anyway, so fvck it. -- nm - Beaker Apr 15, 10:42 2
    - not the point. there may very well not be anywhere for him to *sit*. that's going to awkward for him, - Andie Apr 15, 10:58
    - then the ex can sing Friends in Low Places at the dinner. It's win-win -- nm - Beaker Apr 15, 10:45

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bonus friday hax chat q: she's invited to a wedding she'll have to travel to, but the invite is only for her. should she ask if BF can come with?

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