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In response to
"Why do you keep saying that "
by
eag
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I'm really sorry this happened to you.
Posted by
b! (aka starrynut)
Apr 24 '11, 12:10
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what your friends here are trying to get you to do is stop what they, and I, know are a crazy-making path. odds are, you will never get a sufficient answer (for the variety of reasons mentioned by others); so keeping thinking you want one and want to pursue one is just going to be frustrating for you.
I know it hurts because it feels like a personal rejection, but try to keep it in the perspective of what dating really is. two people get to know eachother, and sometimes things progress, sure; but sometimes one person or the other can simply realize things aren't clicking the way they need them to be, realize they don't see a future together, etc. that's perfectly ok, and it's way better to have that happen earlier than later!
what I most wish for you is that you'll give up thinking something will change and she'll want to be with you again. your comments about her running away from her feelings are reading to me that you think you might be able to change that if you had the opportunity. it would serve you both far better to brush it off and move onward.
she was actually fairly nice* to you in the breaking-up. she said there wasn't a physical connection, and that should be enough for you. pursuing something romantic with someone who has shared she feels that way would likely only lead to more frustration.
*trust me when I say that it could have been a lot worse. she actually told you what she was thinking and that she needed space.
during a couple of past similar experiences, I never wanted to get back with the guy (wanting to be with someone who didn't want to be with me is not a mentally healthy option) as much as I wanted to know why he thought it was ok to do the breakup in a really crappy way - suddenly stopping talking to me, then, if there was any contact at all, making up really lame excuses that didn't follow what had gone before, etc.
what I would have given for what your person did!
perhaps you can think of what happened as something to be proud of - you got back in the dating waters and you now know you can have feelings for someone else again. those are both good steps and should give you hope that something better is ahead! :) -
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