ST Alpha - "bonus dear prudence chat q: she's getting married, bridesmaid insists on wearing white, especially now that Pippa Middleton has made it fashionable" (Reading a Post)

SlickerTalk
Search Archives
The Leaderboard
The FAQ

Down to Post

Backboards:

Posts: 159

bonus dear prudence chat q: she's getting married, bridesmaid insists on wearing white, especially now that Pippa Middleton has made it fashionable

Posted by moles (aka chris) May 2 '11, 12:39

MY BRIDESMAID WANTS TO WEAR WHITE?

Hi Prudie, please settle this question for me! I have one bridesmaid for my upcoming wedding. I gave her a budget and told her to select her own dress, which I will pay for, and as long as I didn't hate it I would be happy for her to get a dress she was happy with. She came up with a design which was fine with me. But now that she started the process of getting it made she is insisting that she wants to wear white. I told her she could have any other color, including black, but I do not want my bridesmaid wearing white. Besides, it defies wedding traditions and many of my guests and family would find it odd. We have been arguing over this and she has her heart absolutely set on white. Since Kate Middleton got married with a bridesmaid in white my friend is even more insistent that this is the way to go. Am I a bridezilla for not wanting my bridesmaid to be in the same color as me?

Responses:

sounds like she is talking about an ex-bridesmaid so the whole thing is a non-issue -- nm - sycor May 2, 12:53 16
- where do you get that? if she's using Pippa as an example this is current. -- nm - Andie May 2, 12:54 15
  - you missed my point. She should just tell their girl she can either not wear white or not be a bridesmaid. -- nm - sycor May 2, 12:55 14
    - human relations tend not to be that simple. -- nm - Andie May 2, 12:56 13
      - this one sounds clear cut to me. Bride told BM up front that she has veto power. Bride is paying for it. - loosilu May 2, 13:06 10
        
        sure sure sure, i agree with all that. but, if you actually value your friendships, it's not so easy to say in real life. - Andie May 2, 13:07 9
        
        yeah, that seems extreme. I'm not saying end the friendship, just get a spine. -- nm - loosilu May 2, 13:09
        
        obviously the bridesmaid doesn't value the friendship that much. so maybe the bride needs to evaluate this. - sycor May 2, 13:09 5
        
        and if telling the girl she cannot wear white causes her to end the friendship, well she wasn't really a friend. - sycor May 2, 13:11 2
        
        you are missing my point. i don't disagree with the concept, i'm saying 'cutting off a friend in real life isn't a little thing' -- nm - Andie May 2, 13:15 1
        
        I know. I've done it before. But sometimes it's the best thing to do. but I get what you are saying. - sycor May 2, 13:18
        
        she's her only bridesmaid. this isn't 'barely a friend'. they've probably known each other forever. -- nm - Andie May 2, 13:10 1
        
        and for the record, I'm not saying the bride should end the friendship. but if telling the girl one or the other ends it, well, see what I said above. -- nm - sycor May 2, 13:12
        
        (like, loosi, how easy is it for you to tell your mother 'no, i don't want to do X?' and just not do it? - Andie May 2, 13:08 1
        
        totally agreed. (I didn't say end the friendship!) -- nm - loosilu May 2, 13:11
      - I know. but I bet the bridesmaid would back down if the bride stress how much it meant to her by putting it in those terms - sycor May 2, 13:01
      - In this case, i'd think it should be. - Will Hunting May 2, 12:59
One of the things that would give me great joy is the deletion of "bridezilla" from the lexicon -- nm - con_carne May 2, 12:46 3
- Great show. Highly entertaining. -- nm - Strongbad May 2, 12:47
- You're such a wordzilla -- nm - ty97 May 2, 12:47 1
  - let's not go zilla-zilla. - Blue Oyster Cult May 2, 12:49
very thin, & no lining or undies, it looks transparent outside dress? -- nm - peglegpete May 2, 12:43
"You do understand: It's my wedding." -- nm - JaxSean May 2, 12:42
sleep with the groomsman, the doorman, and replace the bridesmaid with her bitterest rival. -- nm - Max May 2, 12:41
yeah, the bridesmaid don't get free reign. end of story. - Andie May 2, 12:41 4
- I just noticed the bride is paying for the BM's dress in this case. eff that. -- nm - loosilu May 2, 12:43
- (and, i don't love bridesmaids in white. it can work if the bride is in something *really* elaborate, but, especially with just one bridesmaid, it - Andie May 2, 12:43 2
  - "I'm not bad; I'm just dressed that way." -- nm - Andie Rabbit May 2, 12:44 1
    - i don't look good in white! -- nm - Andie May 2, 12:46
Bride's choice, end of story. As for tradition, it has always been perfectly fine for bridesmaids to wear white if the bride wants them to. - loosilu May 2, 12:40
Your wedding, your call. -- nm - Stephen May 2, 12:40
"Is the Queen of England at this wedding? Then no." -- nm - Reagen May 2, 12:40 3
- The writers of Arrested Development would have a sharp rejoinder for this. - Beryllium May 2, 12:51
- high fives! -- nm - Epiphany May 2, 12:50
- winner -- nm - ty97 May 2, 12:41

Post a message top

bonus dear prudence chat q: she's getting married, bridesmaid insists on wearing white, especially now that Pippa Middleton has made it fashionable

Replies are disabled on threads older than 7 days.