ST Alpha - "sounds like she is talking about an ex-bridesmaid so the whole thing is a non-issue -- nm" (Reading a Post)

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In response to "bonus dear prudence chat q: she's getting married, bridesmaid insists on wearing white, especially now that Pippa Middleton has made it fashionable" by moles

sounds like she is talking about an ex-bridesmaid so the whole thing is a non-issue -- nm

Posted by sycor May 2 '11, 12:53

(No message)

Responses:

where do you get that? if she's using Pippa as an example this is current. -- nm - Andie May 2, 12:54 15
- you missed my point. She should just tell their girl she can either not wear white or not be a bridesmaid. -- nm - sycor May 2, 12:55 14
  - human relations tend not to be that simple. -- nm - Andie May 2, 12:56 13
    - this one sounds clear cut to me. Bride told BM up front that she has veto power. Bride is paying for it. - loosilu May 2, 13:06 10
      - sure sure sure, i agree with all that. but, if you actually value your friendships, it's not so easy to say in real life. - Andie May 2, 13:07 9
        
        yeah, that seems extreme. I'm not saying end the friendship, just get a spine. -- nm - loosilu May 2, 13:09
        
        obviously the bridesmaid doesn't value the friendship that much. so maybe the bride needs to evaluate this. - sycor May 2, 13:09 5
        
        and if telling the girl she cannot wear white causes her to end the friendship, well she wasn't really a friend. - sycor May 2, 13:11 2
        
        you are missing my point. i don't disagree with the concept, i'm saying 'cutting off a friend in real life isn't a little thing' -- nm - Andie May 2, 13:15 1
        
        I know. I've done it before. But sometimes it's the best thing to do. but I get what you are saying. - sycor May 2, 13:18
        
        she's her only bridesmaid. this isn't 'barely a friend'. they've probably known each other forever. -- nm - Andie May 2, 13:10 1
        
        and for the record, I'm not saying the bride should end the friendship. but if telling the girl one or the other ends it, well, see what I said above. -- nm - sycor May 2, 13:12
        
        (like, loosi, how easy is it for you to tell your mother 'no, i don't want to do X?' and just not do it? - Andie May 2, 13:08 1
        
        totally agreed. (I didn't say end the friendship!) -- nm - loosilu May 2, 13:11
    - I know. but I bet the bridesmaid would back down if the bride stress how much it meant to her by putting it in those terms - sycor May 2, 13:01
    - In this case, i'd think it should be. - Will Hunting May 2, 12:59

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