ST Alpha - "I think that it's probably healthier to get that validation mostly from your spouse. It's not that it happens, it's that" (Reading a Post)

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In response to "I have girls who I flirt with every time we talk, it is not a big deal. nm -- nm" by groiny

I think that it's probably healthier to get that validation mostly from your spouse. It's not that it happens, it's that

Posted by Amy (aka momstravaganza) Jun 9 '11, 07:32

he does it all the time, with just one person, and it's taking away from their relationship and changing it. He's more affectionate with the texter than with her. See?

Responses:

I see what you are saying, but it is also a matter of perspective. - groiny Jun 9, 07:36 19
- Where are you getting insecurity from? I didn't see that at all. -- nm - kelly Jun 9, 07:41 10
  - me neither. If she's unsure, I'd say he gave her good reason to be. -- nm - loosilu Jun 9, 07:47
  - sticks out like a sore thumb to me. nm -- nm - groiny Jun 9, 07:44 8
    - So quote the passages that make it stick out like a sore thumb. If it's that blatent, it shouldn't be too hard. -- nm - mara Jun 9, 07:45 7
      - here - groiny Jun 9, 07:47 6
        
        you think the other woman moved on? - loosilu Jun 9, 07:48 5
        
        after 20 years, I would hope so. nm -- nm - groiny Jun 9, 07:48 4
        
        not if he's been throwing her crumbs all this time. -- nm - loosilu Jun 9, 07:49 3
        
        I can see why you would say that. - groiny Jun 9, 07:50 2
        
        here's the thing. - loosilu Jun 9, 07:51 1
        
        we all do stuipd shit sometimes. nm -- nm - groiny Jun 9, 07:52
- After 20 years of marriage? I think she has her shit tight. He needs to focus on the marriage, or admit he's not happy and get out. -- nm - Amy Jun 9, 07:39 7
  - I can see her having an esteem issue...20yrs or so puts them likely in the 45yo range...a little restlessness - Will Hunting Jun 9, 07:40 6
    - I am just saying that it is entirely possible that it looks worse than it is, from her eyes. - groiny Jun 9, 07:42 5
      - I see your point Groiny - but this is your nature - your personality - Epiphany Jun 9, 07:52 2
        
        it would be better if it were 10 women? nm -- nm - groiny Jun 9, 07:54 1
        
        in a way yes - make it less odd. gut feelings are not always right - but this seems strange to her - Epiphany Jun 9, 07:58
      - Very possible, it is worse....but he's putting himself into the "Smoke then Fire" zone here being relatively dumb. - Will Hunting Jun 9, 07:44 1
        
        I knew you were an all right guy... -- nm - kelly Jun 9, 07:53

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I think that it's probably healthier to get that validation mostly from your spouse. It's not that it happens, it's that

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