ST Alpha - "Dear Prudence: A creeping suspicion tells me to keep my father-in-law away from my kids. Should I listen to it?" (Reading a Post)

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Dear Prudence: A creeping suspicion tells me to keep my father-in-law away from my kids. Should I listen to it?

Posted by Beaker (aka anniebecca) Sep 2 '11, 11:38

I'm a mother of two attending graduate school and constantly in need of quiet time to study. My husband is a great help, but with two toddlers he's got his hands full. His father often asks to take our daughter to help "lighten the load" but doesn't ask to take our son, as well. I don't like my father-in-law because of comments he's made about women in general and me in particular. He has also served time for drug-related offenses earlier in his life. But I don't want my feelings to taint my children's view of their grandfather. He's recently converted to a neo-Buddhist religion in which he "lives in the now" and tries to get everyone around him to be "enlightened" and forgiving about things that happened in the past. I keep getting this strange notion that something is inherently evil about this man, though he's tried hard to convince everyone that he's a new person. Do you think that people can really change in such a significant way that it'd be safe to let him spend time with my kids? Or should I trust my instincts and allow only supervised visits or no contact? My husband doesn't like his father but humors him so that he doesn't "have to deal with him."
�Conflicted Mother

Responses:

not mentioned was whether both kids were of equal disposition, maybe the boy is a whiney mess or a rambuncious handfull - zeitgeist Sep 2, 19:49
Prudie's response: (ST and her are on the same wave-length) - Beaker Sep 2, 11:43
I'm all for giving folks second chances, but in this case, go with your gut. - musubi Sep 2, 11:43
two big concerns - one, why does he only want to take the daughter and not the son?! and, two, I am always suspicious of people - b. Sep 2, 11:42 1
- only the daughter sets off alrms with red flashing lights. -- nm - loosilu Sep 2, 11:42
Parent rule #!: If you get bad vibes from someone keep them away from your kids. -- nm - TWuG Sep 2, 11:41
that nagging little doubt you got? LISTEN to it. -- nm - Epiphany Sep 2, 11:40
go with your gut. -- nm - loosilu Sep 2, 11:40

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Dear Prudence: A creeping suspicion tells me to keep my father-in-law away from my kids. Should I listen to it?

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