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belated friday hax chat q: his gf got drunk and kissed one of her crushes. now they're broken up and he wonders if it all can be saved?

Posted by moles (aka chris) Sep 2 '11, 13:24

Hurting but Hopeful

My girlfriend broke up with me last Thursday. Essentially she got drunk and some guy she admits to having a crush on kissed her. I think the original break-up was an overreaction on her part, as she struggles with some self-esteem issues even though she is an amazing person - she constantly tells me she doesn't deserve to be with me, I treat her too well, etc. She is in therapy and addressing these issues and some others. We've been talking a lot the past week - some very painful, tearful conversations - and I think we're getting back together. We both love each other and want to be with each other. I really, really want to make things work with her, but I'm concerned there are hazards ahead that I'm unaware of. Is there anything particular we need to be on the watch for in getting back together? I know it won't just be waving a magic wand and that we have issues to work through.

Responses:

Why do I feel that most of the writers to these colums are like 20 years old? -- nm - Walt_Disney Sep 2, 13:29
is there anything particular?? she has a crush on another guy isn't enough? -- nm - b. Sep 2, 13:26 9
- i think everyone in long term relationships will admit to crushes. like, the cute waiter at the local restaurant or James McAvoy. i don't think that - Andie Sep 2, 13:28 8
  - right, but crush on another guy and let him kiss her at first opportunity? -- nm - b. Sep 2, 13:29
  - but if said crush kisses you and you break up with your current dude for him the next day... - TFox Sep 2, 13:28 6
    - could have been guilt, could have been she thought she could get a ebtter thing going with the crush and got shot down so comes crawling back. -- nm - znufrii Sep 2, 13:29 2
      - do people pre-emptively break up with SOs over guilt? - TFox Sep 2, 13:31 1
        
        *shrug* - znufrii Sep 2, 13:40
    - *ding* Pretty straightforward message to me. (nm) - musubi Sep 2, 13:29
    - oh, that's a whole other level. i was just talking about the crush part, specifically. -- nm - Andie Sep 2, 13:29 1
      - holla. -- nm - TFox Sep 2, 13:30
All this over a drunken kiss? Something doesn't seem right -- nm - amoxy Sep 2, 13:26 4
- Why? She got drunk, mashed faces with another dude, that seems break-up worthy to me. - musubi Sep 2, 13:27 3
  - I am just saying it was probably more than just a drunken kiss - amoxy Sep 2, 13:29 2
    - Maybe, but I don't see a reason to believe that. (nm) - musubi Sep 2, 13:31
    - not necessarily. -- nm - Andie Sep 2, 13:31
Number 1 thing to watch out for: That she doesn't go and get drunk and kiss other dudes. (nm) - musubi Sep 2, 13:25
i mean, as long as you don't mind working through that's she's kind of nuts? go for it. -- nm - TFox Sep 2, 13:25
solution, don't let her get drunk. -- nm - znufrii Sep 2, 13:25
enh, she made a big mistake she knows it. you are both willing to work. give it a shot. -- nm - Andie Sep 2, 13:25

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belated friday hax chat q: his gf got drunk and kissed one of her crushes. now they're broken up and he wonders if it all can be saved?

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