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In response to
"and there it is"
by
Capstern
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okay, i am going to give you some real well-meaning advice/explanations here.
Posted by
Andie (aka Andie)
Sep 7 '11, 10:36
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1 - you often don't seem to understand the tone of the conversation that's happening around you. for instance, when you were explaining that you wanted an emotional commitment before sex and people were joking, you thought that meant they thought that was weird, but what is actually weird is that you felt the need to explain your thought process as though you are a unique and individual flower. what you were 'justifying' is simply normal grown-up human behaviour.
2 - the name change. people change their nicks here all the time, but no-one pretends to be an entirely new person. that's deceptive.
3 - about the 'coming clean confession'. while i don't think the persona you were wearing was really a stretch from your reality, it was the fact that you *felt* and were *trying* to play a role that annoyed everyone.
4 - calling well-respected and well-liked, long long time STers names is never going to sway the crowd to your side.
5 - part of the problem is that you really only come around here for two reasons - (a) to tell us how wonderful your life/wife/job is and (b) to ask advice. There is no feeling of 'i just like hanging here as part of the crowd'. you are the most 'look at me' person here. also, part of the reason we can't take you at face value is you have spent the part few years just popping in to tell us 'funny' stories that mock people who questioned your relationship, only for you to tell us now that it's been falling apart for quite a while. so, again, you are protesting and denying something that you now admit to be true.
all these things add up. we are all here regularly and all know and trust each other to certain extents. it's like you are walking into a party of really close friends and just blathering about things that make no sense to the group.
i really sincerely hope this helps you understand where people are coming from and lets you stop just reactively striking back when they question your motives or reasoning.
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