ST Alpha - "dammit - i spent a lot of time writing a big explanation to cappie and it got LIR. so, i'm reposting. so there." (Reading a Post)

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dammit - i spent a lot of time writing a big explanation to cappie and it got LIR. so, i'm reposting. so there.

Posted by Andie (aka Andie) Sep 7 '11, 10:38

okay, i am going to give you some real well-meaning advice/explanations here.
-- Andie (aka Andie) Sep 7, 13:36
1 - you often don't seem to understand the tone of the conversation that's happening around you. for instance, when you were explaining that you wanted an emotional commitment before sex and people were joking, you thought that meant they thought that was weird, but what is actually weird is that you felt the need to explain your thought process as though you are a unique and individual flower. what you were 'justifying' is simply normal grown-up human behaviour.

2 - the name change. people change their nicks here all the time, but no-one pretends to be an entirely new person. that's deceptive.

3 - about the 'coming clean confession'. while i don't think the persona you were wearing was really a stretch from your reality, it was the fact that you *felt* and were *trying* to play a role that annoyed everyone.

4 - calling well-respected and well-liked, long long time STers names is never going to sway the crowd to your side.

5 - part of the problem is that you really only come around here for two reasons - (a) to tell us how wonderful your life/wife/job is and (b) to ask advice. There is no feeling of 'i just like hanging here as part of the crowd'. you are the most 'look at me' person here. also, part of the reason we can't take you at face value is you have spent the part few years just popping in to tell us 'funny' stories that mock people who questioned your relationship, only for you to tell us now that it's been falling apart for quite a while. so, again, you are protesting and denying something that you now admit to be true.

all these things add up. we are all here regularly and all know and trust each other to certain extents. it's like you are walking into a party of really close friends and just blathering about things that make no sense to the group.

i really sincerely hope this helps you understand where people are coming from and lets you stop just reactively striking back when they question your motives or reasoning.

http://www.slickertalk.com/index.php?post_id=1829348&board_id=11674&username=Andie (www.slickertalk.com)

okay, i am going to give you some real well-meaning advice/explanations here.

Andie (aka Andie) Sep 7 '11, 10:36

1 - you often don't seem to understand the tone of the conversation that's happening around you. for instance, when you were explaining that you wanted an emotional commitment before sex and people were joking, you thought that meant they thought that was weird, but what is actually weird is that you felt the need to explain your thought process as though you are a unique and individual flower. what you were 'justifying' is simply normal grown-up human behaviour. 2 - the name change. people change their nicks here all the time, but no-one pretends to be an entirely new person. that's deceptive. 3 - about the 'coming clean confession'. while i don't think the persona you were wearing was really a stretch from your reality, it was the fact that you *felt* and were *trying* to play a role that annoyed everyone. 4 - calling well-respected and well-liked, long long time STers names is never going to sway the crowd to your side. 5 - part of the problem is that you really only come around here for two reasons - (a) to tell us how wonderful your life/wife/job is and (b) to ask advice. There is no feeling of 'i just like hanging here as part of the crowd'. you are the most 'look at me' person here. also, part of the reason we can't take you at face value is you have spent the part few years just popping in to tell us 'funny' stories that mock people who questioned your relationship, only for you to tell us now that it's been falling apart for quite a while. so, again, you are protesting and denying something that you now admit to be true. all these things add up. we are all here regularly and all know and trust each other to certain extents. it's like you are walking into a party of really close friends and just blathering about things that make no sense to the group. i really sincerely hope this helps you understand where people are coming from and lets you stop just reactively striking back when they question your motives or reasoning.

In response to Capstern: "and there it is"

Responses:

I agree with everything here but #4. - Will Hunting Sep 7, 11:04
this makes sense -- nm - Epiphany Sep 7, 10:55
I totally agree with 1-3. 4 is true, but I don't blame him for lashing out. - musubi, Benevolent Autocrat Sep 7, 10:47 31
- People get what they want out of ST. If you only want it to be your sounding board/advice columnist, that's fine. But if you're inventing the need for - Reagen Sep 7, 10:50 30
  - fine, but I just don't see how A leads to B here. - znufrii Sep 7, 10:57 6
    - because he said, "you thought A, but it was really B"? you take ST at face value except for that one post? -- nm - TFox Sep 7, 10:58 5
      - You're misreading my point - znufrii Sep 7, 11:03 4
        
        I will say that since the Skagnetti incident, any blatant attempt to mislead leaves a very bad taste in my mouth -- nm - oblique Sep 7, 11:06
        
        because if i was like, "hey znu, I'm going to do meth. it looks fun." and you were like, "dude, don't. meth is bad, it'll ruin your life." - TFox Sep 7, 11:06 2
        
        it all depends on how much interest I have vested in him telling me the truth in the first place. - znufrii Sep 7, 11:09
        
        Meth is great though, right? -- nm - oblique Sep 7, 11:07
  - the marriage stuff was all true, though. -- nm - loosilu Sep 7, 10:53
  - Yeah, I don't think he was inventing anything. - musubi Sep 7, 10:51 21
    - me, too. otoh, for you, from b2 - you're wrong, about some of us anyway. - b. Sep 7, 10:53 11
      - I am not trying to cast aspersions on anyone being "not real". It's human nature to put on faces for different situations. - musubi Sep 7, 11:00 7
        
        You and znu can switch back now. No more peeing in magic fountains for either of you. -- nm - TWuG Sep 7, 11:07
        
        I posted something similar recently to your first part, but you lose me for the last. - b. Sep 7, 11:05 [Backboard]
        
        absolutely true. however, no-one else (i'm pretty sure) is attempting (however poorly) to build an identity un-related to their reality. -- nm - Andie Sep 7, 11:03 1
        
        I guess I figure, if reality were kicking me in the groin the way his reality is kicking him in the groin, I'd be temped to say, "it's most fake" too. - musubi Sep 7, 11:08
        
        is this sabermetrics? -- nm - TFox Sep 7, 11:00 2
        
        Sabermoosetrics. (nm) - musubi Sep 7, 11:01
        
        bubermetrics. -- nm - HPV McGee Sep 7, 11:01
      - Word. I'm pretty much exactly the same in real life as I am here. - Jim Sep 7, 10:56 2
        
        No you are not...I have met you and you are really Tyra Banks -- nm - amoxy Sep 7, 10:57 1
        
        So you're saying I don't post as sexy as I really am? -- nm - Jim Sep 7, 11:00
    - it amounts to the same thing - Reagen Sep 7, 10:53 3
      - fwiw, I think it's been pretty pathetic. - b. Sep 7, 10:58
      - I guess I get that, but for whatever reason, it just doesn't even move the needle for me. (nm) - musubi Sep 7, 10:56
      - yeah, this too. "you're all dumb." -- nm - HPV McGee Sep 7, 10:55
    - but it's insulting to us in any case. -- nm - HPV McGee Sep 7, 10:53 4
      - It wasn't insulting to all of us -- nm - amoxy Sep 7, 10:54 3
        
        well, you have met him, correct? nm -- nm - groiny Sep 7, 10:59 2
        
        Yeah, and I liked the guy I met. I guess I did not get upset with the previous stuff that was posted - amoxy Sep 7, 11:01 1
        
        see, that is the difference. - groiny Sep 7, 11:04
I think that says it pretty clearly. - pmb Sep 7, 10:45
despite what the other people below say, your response blows - crash davis Sep 7, 10:44 5
- pfffft, i got andie to swear at me once. you're gonna have to go some to get there....nm - x Sep 7, 10:46 2
  - I'll pull a Cyrano and get dignan to write my material -- nm - crash davis Sep 7, 10:50 1
    - speaking of which, kinda odd that he's been nonexistent since this has all been going down, no? -- nm - prayformojo Sep 7, 10:58
- screw you! - Andie Sep 7, 10:45 1
  - as they say, drop the zero and get with the hero -- nm - crash davis Sep 7, 10:46
I'm with groiny - I don't have the time to bother to figure out what's real or not. -- nm - Reagen Sep 7, 10:44 12
- The desperate need for attention is all too real. -- nm - David Sep 7, 10:55 1
  - yep. -- nm - b. Sep 7, 11:10
- Yep. Don't know, don't want to know, don't care (nm) - Brian Sep 7, 10:54
- neither do I, so I just pretty much take everything here at face value, and respond accordingly if warranted. - znufrii Sep 7, 10:51
- Few people do. I think that's just one reason it's a big no-no to lie on ST -- nm - con_carne Sep 7, 10:48
- *shrug* Doesn't really bother me. But I wasn't bothered all that much by the Car Crash Hoax either. (nm) - musubi, Benevolent Autocrat Sep 7, 10:48 2
  - I wasn't much bothered by the car crash hoax because I didn't fully believe it. I wasn't much bothered by JohnnyB because he was uninteresting. -- nm - mara Sep 7, 10:50 1
    - This too. (nm) - musubi Sep 7, 10:54
- *SCREEN PRINTS THIS POST* - groiny Sep 7, 10:45 2
  - I know, I'm scared too. -- nm - Reagen Sep 7, 10:45 1
    - ...hold me. (nm) - ReyRey si Sep 7, 10:49
- it's a black hole....nm - x Sep 7, 10:44
ooh, now do me! -- nm - Max Sep 7, 10:43 4
- You really need to work on your pick up lines. -- nm - pmb Sep 7, 10:46 2
  - "I have high thread counts, low interest rates, and a big lot." -- nm - Max Sep 7, 10:48 1
    - have we talked about my parking lot repaving nightmare (currently ongoing)? I would *love* a big lot. - HPV McGee Sep 7, 10:52
- heh -- nm - TFox Sep 7, 10:44
this is a very kind and sincerely nice post to an icky ST happening - hoping it can resolve things - JenBro Sep 7, 10:43
Ok, I've been in and out...are we seriously STILL doing this? -- nm - Jim Sep 7, 10:42 16
- That's Jim's Saturday night love making to a tee. -- nm - Shaun Sep 7, 11:02
- he's back and attacking and doesn't seem to think the reaction he's getting is justified. - Andie Sep 7, 10:44 13
  - Do me after you do Max! -- nm - con_carne Sep 7, 10:55
  - Judge Andie has spoken! We now know "the law". Thanks, Judge Andie! - TWuG Sep 7, 10:49 2
    - :) - Andie Sep 7, 10:54
    - hee. I was getting an "Ape has killed Ape!" vibe. -- nm - Reagen Sep 7, 10:51
  - I really didn't mean that directly to you...just in general. I can't believe this is still going around and around. - Jim Sep 7, 10:46 8
    - It surprised you that Cappie is misunderstanding reactions and still trying to justify himself? - mara Sep 7, 10:52 6
      - No, it surprised me that ST is still playing with him. Normally, we'd have moved on to something new. -- nm - Jim Sep 7, 10:53 5
        
        of course we wouldn't. -- nm - loosilu Sep 7, 10:54 4
        
        its like he doesn't even know us -- nm - Epiphany Sep 7, 10:59 1
        
        I would like to think eventually we'll stop kicking horse. nm - Jim Sep 7, 11:04
        
        the queen speaks the truth. -- nm - HPV McGee Sep 7, 10:57 1
        
        if there is on true thing about ST, it's that we never drop anything. -- nm - loosilu Sep 7, 10:57
    - ST is nothing if not repetitive. -- nm -- nm - Beaker Sep 7, 10:47
- ST is nothing if not repetitive. -- nm - znufrii Sep 7, 10:43
well said. -- nm - znufrii Sep 7, 10:41
Just read it on b2, was coming to say how well said I thought it was. -- nm - Stephen Sep 7, 10:40
look at andrea being all LAM. whatever, andie. if that's even your real name... - HPV McGee Sep 7, 10:39 1
- danger! danger! chlymidia hazard! -- nm - TFox Sep 7, 10:41

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dammit - i spent a lot of time writing a big explanation to cappie and it got LIR. so, i'm reposting. so there.

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