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color of money chat q: they are engaged. he wants to get married now, she wants to wait a year to figure out the division of their finances and such

Posted by moles (aka chris) Sep 8 '11, 11:14

Getting married and finances

Hi Michelle, I am engaged to be married and I thought I'd ask you about how to go about organizing our finances. He wants to get married in 6 months but I want to wait a year. I want to sit down and look at our finances together, exact numbers and all, and I want to plan out what we should do, such as finding a place and so on. I think it's worth it to wait a year and see how we mesh living together. I am not sure if we should combine finances at this point or wait until we are officially married. I just don't want to rush into things but he doesn't see this as rushing. But it seems too much to plan a wedding and talk about all these hard issues at the same time. Advice on how to handle money as a newly engaged couple?

Responses:

Easy, just ever combine finances. If you want to wait an extra six months, fine. But finances aren't a reason why. - Dr.Vermin Sep 8, 11:23 1
- ever = never -- nm - Dr.Johnny Vermin Sep 8, 11:29
Sound like an accountant/money manager type person. Definitely discuss money before marriage. -- nm - TWuG Sep 8, 11:19
"I think it's worth it to wait a year and see how we mesh living together." is the key sentence. - TFox Sep 8, 11:17 5
- everyone should know what it's like to live with someone in all four seasons before they get married. -- nm - Max Sep 8, 11:18 4
  - That's a lot of sin -- nm - con_carne Sep 8, 11:24
  - I'm best in fall. -- nm - HPV McGee Sep 8, 11:20 1
    - ... legs in the air. -- nm - dignan SI Sep 8, 11:22
  - we don't have seasons in LA - moles Sep 8, 11:20
Advice to the dude: do what she says or walk away while you can get out free. She's money paranoid and won't feel any better after you're married. - Max Sep 8, 11:17 3
- I think she is more ... overly practical. I think what she is not considering is that you can still keep your finances separate while living together - kare Sep 8, 11:38
- maybe he is irresponsible with money. -- nm - loosilu Sep 8, 11:19 1
  - To a paranoiac, everyone is. -- nm - Dr.Johnny Vermin, ;) Sep 8, 11:36
OFFS - The Ruiner Sep 8, 11:16 6
- It's not like she wants to wait years, it is just 6 months -- nm - amoxy Sep 8, 11:21 1
  - That's what you said last year when Biggs and Tank left -- nm - Luke Skywalker Sep 8, 11:24
- i don't fault her for wanting to be responsible though. -- nm - Andie Sep 8, 11:17 3
  - me neither. Figuring out how you'll handle money as a couple is a big deal. - Diva Sep 8, 11:23 2
    - These negotiations are not going to go any differently if they last 6 days or 6 months, though. -- nm - The Ruiner Sep 8, 11:25 1
      - That's true, though bad habits take time to appear. - kare Sep 8, 11:42

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color of money chat q: they are engaged. he wants to get married now, she wants to wait a year to figure out the division of their finances and such

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