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dear prudence chat q: her gay ex-bf is now engaged to a very religious woman who doesn't know

Posted by moles (aka chris) Sep 12 '11, 11:46

Gay Ex-BF getting married to religious girl who doesn't know!

Dear Prudie, Yesterday I found out through a mutual friend that my (gay) ex-boyfriend is engaged. 18 months into our heterosexual relationship, I caught him red-handed, browsing gay classifieds when I came home early one day. He confessed everything, telling me how he'd been confused since adolescence, felt religious/family/social pressures to be straight, that he had strategically thrown himself into athletics for the "macho" mask it would provide him, etc. His fiancee knows absolutely none of this. She's a nice girl, works for a charity, writes a blog about her religious faith, etc., but it's precisely because of her religiousness (shared with his parents') that he would never tell her. He continues to have promiscuous gay sex, unbeknownst to her. Is it right to let this girl marry someone just because he can't bring himself to tell her the truth? Just to be clear about me, I am not the bitter/jealous/angry/stalker ex-girlfriend. Do I write to him and encourage him to tell her, or to re-think what he's doing? Is there any option that does not automatically paint me as a psycho ex-girlfriend trying to ruin their happiness?

Responses:

No way she knows what the religious gal knows. I bet he's already told her -- nm - Flavorize Sep 12, 11:56
browsing gay classifieds? - ceregon Sep 12, 11:53 1
- for an interior decorator! -- nm - moles Sep 12, 11:57
How does she know he "continues to have promiscuous gay sex"? - Ender Sep 12, 11:53
[deleted]
Get some popcorn, sit back, and enjoy the show. -- nm - Mop (196 lbs) Sep 12, 11:52
Unless she has physical proof he is having gay sex (ie pics) let it go -- nm - amoxy Sep 12, 11:52 1
- No, if she has pics, the correct thing to do is release them to the entire internet, to *fully* ruin his life. - Beryllium Sep 12, 11:54
None of your business. -- nm - mara Sep 12, 11:50
No. No. and No. -- nm - znufrii Sep 12, 11:49
although it feels sleazy, I think she should tell. -- nm - loosilu Sep 12, 11:48 3
- (because he is promiscuous) -- nm - loosilu Sep 12, 11:49 2
  - And how does she *know* what he does these days? - The Ruiner Sep 12, 11:50 1
    - true. -- nm - loosilu Sep 12, 11:50
OFFS - The Ruiner Sep 12, 11:48
mind your own effin' business. -- nm - decline Sep 12, 11:48

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dear prudence chat q: her gay ex-bf is now engaged to a very religious woman who doesn't know

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