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triple bonus prude chat q: she's in her 20s and wonders if it would be okay to have a relationship with her graduate professor (he's 45)?

Posted by moles (aka chris) Sep 12 '11, 13:43

.Older Men

Dear Prudie, I'm in my 20s--a graduate student, and one of my professors is wonderful...I have a huge crush on him. He's very attractive, very smart, dresses nicely, has a lot of compassion, and is also very good at communicating (which is rare in my field.) But he's also 45--I'm 23. He isn't married, but he has kids (teenagers). I think he also finds me attractive. I'm wondering if you think it would be inappropriate for me to (potentially) date this man--after I'm done taking his course, of course. I've never in my life been attracted to an older guy before--so I don't really know what to think! -Too Young? -

Responses:

No issues witht the age, but huge issues with their academic relationship....it might not be allowed if she works for him or under him. -- nm - Walt_Disney Sep 12, 13:56
[deleted] 12
- when i was an adjunct prof., there was no actual prohibition against dating, afaik - moles Sep 12, 13:49 6
  - Where did you teach? -- nm - JenBro Sep 12, 13:56 2
    - Univ. of Baltimore Law -- nm - moles Sep 12, 13:58
    - The school of hard knocks -- nm - oblique Sep 12, 13:57
  - you were looking under D for dating. you needed to go to C for canoodling. -- nm - Max Sep 12, 13:50 2
    - i think i can count the number of my students i would have c----d on one hand -- nm - moles Sep 12, 13:52 1
      - this would be a good line to include in Your Highness 2. Get to work. -- nm - Max Sep 12, 13:53
- She said "intercourse after course, of course." - The Ruiner Sep 12, 13:48 4
  - [deleted] 3
    - Really? I had no idea. That seems a bit medieval. What happens when a woman is *already* in a relationship with a faculty member, and wants to take a - mara Sep 12, 13:51 2
      - [deleted]
      - the other students would be just thrilled. -- nm - loosilu Sep 12, 13:53
She should rent Storytelling first. -- nm - TFox Sep 12, 13:46
nubbah!!! -- nm - The Ruiner Sep 12, 13:45
offs -- nm - znufrii Sep 12, 13:45
"I've never done this before." -- nm - 45 yr old professor Sep 12, 13:44
Great for him, nightmarish for her. -- nm - David Sep 12, 13:44 14
- and when they break up, great for her, nightmarish for him. -- nm - Beryllium Sep 12, 13:46 13
  - Are you kidding? He can seriously date a 30 year old who will feel like he's maturing. -- nm - David Sep 12, 13:46 12
    - a lot of colleges have strict policies on this. - loosilu Sep 12, 13:50
    - (I meant, professionally nightmarish.) -- nm - Beryllium Sep 12, 13:48 10
      - In the immortal words of Duran Duran, "Girls will keep the secret." -- nm - David Sep 12, 13:50
      - Walking into the prof lounge and getting assaulted with high fives? - The Ruiner Sep 12, 13:49 8
        
        "we were dating when I took his course" could provide a challenge or two, maybe, to an untenured professor. I could be wrong. -- nm - Beryllium Sep 12, 13:51 7
        
        at his age, he should already have tenure, but she should check. -- nm - loosilu Sep 12, 13:52 6
        
        they do tenure based on age? -- nm - TFox Sep 12, 13:56 5
        
        x is our leader. -- nm - The Ruiner Sep 12, 13:57
        
        no, but usually people get it around 40. -- nm - loosilu Sep 12, 13:57 3
        
        woohoo. 6 more days! -- nm - oblique Sep 12, 13:57 2
        
        ha! that's assuming you've accomplished things. -- nm - loosilu Sep 12, 13:58
        
        Wait a sec, I thought I had been using the executive washroom, but this is the tenure washroom!!! -- nm - The Ruiner Sep 12, 13:58
YES! -- nm - nubby si Sep 12, 13:44

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triple bonus prude chat q: she's in her 20s and wonders if it would be okay to have a relationship with her graduate professor (he's 45)?

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