Andie....you are right
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Deep inside I know that after the divorce is final it is just a matter of time before we just dont talk much.
Even now 19 days after filing I am still reflecting back on things that have bugged me for years but I was still too stubborn to own and face.
Something has snapped. I have decided to just be the real me. No more controtions for anyone. No more being anything other than what I am. If a woman who likes me doesnt like cheesy roanticism then I wont date her. There are people who like to be cooked for, who like that I notice little tiny things and make a nice thing out of them and I guess that is part of becoming an adult. Deciding what you want and not compromising on the core of what you NEED vs what you WANT.
At first I felt bad turning her out into the world. Now I cant wait. I feel like a caged animal that has had a taste of freedom.
Hell I spent this weekend away with friends all weekend. One day was at a friends house (d&j)just watching movies and hanging with a friend of theirs and just BEING and feeling single. The next day was at my other friends helping them unpack, shoping for some new clothes for me and window shopping beds.
Sunday was food with my friend at the sports bar and teaching her about football since she said she watned to learn why people like me are so passionate about it.
ALL FREAKING weekend my phone blew up with txt. Are you ok? Do you need me to bring anything to you (clothes toothpaste etc), i know you are dating who are you dating (I am not not not not) you can tell me if you are I wont be mad (I am not not not). Sunday was want to come home and have some "fun" (no no no and honestly my brain went ew ew ew ew) and I was shocked that at the very core there was NOTHING there.
So Andie you are likely right the day I can safely head for the hills without feeling like a total asshole I probably will.
Hell I am not even going to ask for teh house key back I am just changing the locks and grarage door clickers.
Had the huge fight last night about you are making everying hindsight nice and it wasnt. You dont want me or you wouldnt have done this. Get the fuck over it, get the hell one with your life and if you keep this up I wont be able to stay friends as you are making me freaking crazy.
That was when she finally thought the car idea might be a good idea. Starts telling me how she just doesnt ever want to date or be with anyone ever again and I told her to stop being a martyr.
Tonight she will sign the property agreement and we will have it notorized and then its just count down to court she doesnt even need to show up for.
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