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TTIS: My sister has an issue. At Christmas, her inlaws came to visit, including her brother in law and his girlfriend.

Posted by loosilu (aka loosilu) Jan 12 '09, 08:37

the BIL and GF live together. At her place, they slept on the pull out sofa. They were not having wild monkey sex (at least not that anyone noticed). My sister (having been raised by my mother) is not comfortable with this, partly because she has two kids (ages 2 and 4). What do to about it next year? She does not have a spare bedroom for them and apparently expected that one would sleep on the couch and one on the floor. I told her she was crazy to expect that.

note: They cannot afford to stay in a hotel.

Responses:

If it's such an issue to her, I think next year someone else should host. Her place might be the easiest, but it's obviously making her uncomfortable -- nm - Guigue Jan 12, 08:56
the ex had an uncle (mother's brother) who got married, and the wife decided she didn't like his family - tRuMaN Jan 12, 08:52 2
- she likes them fine. -- nm - loosilu Jan 12, 08:53 1
  - then she needs to get over it. -- nm - tRuMaN Jan 12, 08:57
[deleted] 6
- The sister is being prudish. But it's her house and the guests should abide by her rules or not stay there. -- nm - TWuG Jan 12, 08:52 1
  - [deleted]
- I can't imagine myself pushing it on either side. I might privately think she was nuts, but it's Christmas, I can handle the floor. -- nm - TFox Jan 12, 08:52
- they have no clue, yet. I don't know them well at all. -- nm - loosilu Jan 12, 08:51 2
  - [deleted] 1
    - yeah, she knows that. That's not the issue. -- nm - loosilu Jan 12, 08:54
You're right. She's crazy to expect that. -- nm - mara Jan 12, 08:50 1
- Indeed. But also, if they can't afford a hotel room, they might just have to acquiesce to her request, no matter how crazy. -- nm - Beryllium Jan 12, 08:52
I'm not sure how a 2-year-old and a 4-year-old are going to be traumatized by two people sleeping on a pull-out sofa. -- nm - Ender Jan 12, 08:47 8
- I think if the couple were married, loosi's sister would think it's fine -- nm - con_carne Jan 12, 08:49
- Religious beliefs don't always make sense to others. -- nm - Shaun Jan 12, 08:49 6
  - We've all seen enough sit-coms to know that the real reason is that the sister hates the girlfriend. -- nm - Amy Jan 12, 08:52 5
    - heh. the GF is fine. My sis just really is that fucked in the head. -- nm - loosilu Jan 12, 08:53 4
      - [deleted] 1
        
        oh, that's not why she's effed up. and she knows perfectly well that she's effed up. she's cool with it. -- nm - loosilu Jan 12, 08:57
      - Why pass judgement so easily on how they should raise their 2- and 4-year-old? -- nm - con_carne Jan 12, 08:55 1
        
        because I've known my sister for 40 years? -- nm - loosilu Jan 12, 08:56
Hmm. Tough one. One one hand, it's her house, and if they want to stay there for free, they need to abice by her rules. - JaxSean Jan 12, 08:42 15
- I had to deal with this. Bottom line is they probably will stop coming because of it - decline Jan 12, 08:44 7
  - that's what I'd do too. if I live with somebody, I'm not sleeping in a different bed to make you more comfortable, your house or not. - mafic Jan 12, 08:49 3
    - this is what I told her, fwiw. I told her that's not a reasonable thing to ask. -- nm - loosilu Jan 12, 08:50 2
      - if we don't live together, I might be willing to do it. if it's her family, and it's really important to her that I'm there, but not for my family. -- nm - mafic Jan 12, 08:52
      - good for you. -- nm - Don Homer Jan 12, 08:52
  - this is ultimate the issue, I think. and it means her husband wouldn't see his brother very much. -- nm - loosilu Jan 12, 08:45 2
    - what if they never get married? imo your sis is being a bit too severe about the whole thing -- nm - decline Jan 12, 08:48 1
      - no shit. this is my thing. and knowing him, that might happen. what's she going to do, spend the next 20 years - loosilu Jan 12, 08:49
- they're 30ish. -- nm - loosilu Jan 12, 08:44 6
  - Then he needs to go to Motel 6 if he can't take it. -- nm - JaxSean Jan 12, 08:46 3
    - repeat: THey cannot afford a hotel. -- nm - loosilu Jan 12, 08:48 2
      - Then take what you get and don't bitch about it. -- nm - JaxSean Jan 12, 08:51 1
        
        (not that he's bitching. I just meant beggars can't be choosers.) -- nm - JaxSean Jan 12, 08:51
  - I assumed this. My answer is different if they are like 22. -- nm - TFox Jan 12, 08:45 1
    - she would react the same way if they were 60. -- nm - loosilu Jan 12, 08:46
I think if you invite people who live together to come stay at your house, it's not exactly your place to dictate their sleeping proximity. - TFox Jan 12, 08:42 1
- this is my thing. -- nm - loosilu Jan 12, 08:43
She's not crazy to expect that, if it's her house. - con_carne Jan 12, 08:40 8
- You can't sleep apart for a few days? Suck it up--you're a guest. You sleep where you're told to. -- nm - Amy Jan 12, 08:50
- Well, she's still crazy for expecting it. But bottom line is if they're staying there, it's their onus to follow the "innkeepers" rules. - JaxSean Jan 12, 08:49 5
  - Come on. Though I wouldn't agree with loosi's sister, her concern that unmarrieds shouldn't sleep together is not uncommon. -- nm - con_carne Jan 12, 08:51 4
    - When there's little kids in the house, that is. "Mommy, are they married?" "Mommy, are they going to get married?" -- nm - con_carne Jan 12, 08:53 3
      - 2 and 4 year olds don't ask that. - JaxSean Jan 12, 08:57 2
        
        is there a magic age? He'll be five next year. -- nm - loosilu Jan 12, 08:59 1
        
        Kids sleep in the same bed during sleep overs. - JaxSean Jan 12, 09:01
- word -- nm - Rorschach: 03/06/09 Jan 12, 08:41
Sister's house, sister's rules. If she has an issue she should request (if they are still unmarried) that they use a hotel next time. -- nm - TWuG Jan 12, 08:39 1
- and they can't afford it, so they won't see them. which is okay as long as they realize this. -- nm - Andie Jan 12, 08:53
Have Christmas at a bigger house? -- nm - TaurusII Jan 12, 08:38 1
- let's assume that for various reasons it was easiest to go to her place. -- nm - loosilu Jan 12, 08:43
fwiw, my advice was - loosilu Jan 12, 08:38 3
- Word. -- nm - znufrii Jan 12, 08:43
- yup -- nm - Don Homer Jan 12, 08:41
- Yeah, I'd be saying something similar. -- nm - kelly Jan 12, 08:39

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TTIS: My sister has an issue. At Christmas, her inlaws came to visit, including her brother in law and his girlfriend.

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