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somebody lying prudence chat q: her daughter with the beautiful red hair is the object of strangers' fawning, at the expense of the other daughter

Posted by moles (aka chris) Sep 19 '11, 12:07

SEEING RED!

Dear Prudie, I am fortunate to have two beautiful young daughters. One of my daughters has gorgeous bright red hair which attracts comments from random strangers on a regular basis. As a proud mother, I used to find these comments flattering, however, they're starting to get annoying. First of all, my daughter has become very well aware that having red hair is an envied trait. However, what bothers me most is that many of these "well-wishers" completely look past my other daughter who is generally right next to her! Last week she made a comment to me about how she is "not special" because she doesn't have red hair like her sister. This breaks my heart! Is there a polite way to handle these situations?

Responses:

Yes, it's easy to bypass the laws of human nature and instinctive reaction, and make the world perfectly fair to both daughters forever. -- nm - Dr.Johnny Vermin Sep 19, 12:26
OFFS -- nm - Epiphany Sep 19, 12:14
When the strangers are there, alert th em to the existence of your other daughter as ell. -- nm - loosilu Sep 19, 12:12 35
- Hey, strange person! Ogle *this one* too! - Dr.Johnny Vermin Sep 19, 12:28 10
  - i think i'd do this "yes, suzy gets her lovely red hair from her dad's side and cathy gets her fabulous blonde hair from mine. we're so lucky that we - Andie - V-5 days Sep 19, 12:30 9
    - I just don't get the whole parading-your-children-in-front-of-strangers concept to begin with. - Dr.Johnny Vermin Sep 19, 12:37 6
      - you don't have to 'parade' to have people comment. you just have to be in public. -- nm - Andie - V-5 days Sep 19, 12:38 5
        
        it's just a matter of leaving the house. -- nm - loosilu Sep 19, 12:40
        
        exactly. -- nm - b. Sep 19, 12:39
        
        personal anecdote - i had white blonde hair, my mom has dark brown. strangers asked her if i was adopted. - Andie - V-5 days Sep 19, 12:39 2
        
        See, your IM would be my reaction, but to a wider range of comments and questions. :) -- nm - Dr.Johnny Vermin Sep 19, 12:47
        
        jesus! -- nm - loosilu Sep 19, 12:39
    - That's all fine and good, but you're missing to point that we have to decide which one was more put upon! - musubi Sep 19, 12:32
    - this is what I had in mind. -- nm - loosilu Sep 19, 12:31
- this doesn't work. I mean, the strangers will be like, yeah, who cares? - amanda jones Sep 19, 12:14 23
  - when I was little and strangers were doing this, I wanted to crawl under a rock. it's not all that. -- nm - loosilu Sep 19, 12:15 22
    - sure. you say that because you're the one being complimented. no, no! I'm not pretty! it makes me feel bad to be so pretty! - amanda jones Sep 19, 12:19 21
      - grass is always greener. I don't remember feeling pretty. I remember strange old ladies putting their claws in my hair. -- nm - loosilu Sep 19, 12:21 20
        
        and I remember feeling invisible and hideous. I think my scars last longer. - amanda jones Sep 19, 12:23 18
        
        no, it's not a competition. my sister was the pretty one for what it's worth. -- nm - loosilu Sep 19, 12:23 17
        
        yes, but *you* were the one who got all the attention, which is what this is about. -- nm - amanda jones Sep 19, 12:24 16
        
        I did NOT want it at all. I felt like afreak and wanted the strangers to get their hands off me. -- nm - loosilu Sep 19, 12:25 15
        
        And how does telling the strangers to do this to the sibling make things any better? -- nm - con_carne Sep 19, 12:27 6
        
        you have a weird understanding of English. -- nm - loosilu Sep 19, 12:27 5
        
        "When the strangers are there, alert th em to the existence of your other daughter as ell" is what I was referring to -- nm - con_carne Sep 19, 12:30 4
        
        Right. You're just supposed to have the stranger call the other daughter Ell instead of her real name. Duh. - Dr.Johnny Vermin Sep 19, 12:32
        
        Stop enabling, enabler. (nm) - musubi Sep 19, 12:30
        
        wehre's the part where - loosilu Sep 19, 12:30 1
        
        Four posts up. -- nm - con_carne Sep 19, 12:32
        
        sure, but they noticed you. I was a drooling stump. -- nm - amanda jones Sep 19, 12:26 7
        
        sure, but they left you alone. (not a competition) -- nm - loosilu Sep 19, 12:27 6
        
        If this goes to tiny text, I'm calling it officially the dumbest pissing contest in TT history. (nm) - musubi Sep 19, 12:29 2
        
        I don't really give a crap. I was just testing the waters. it got too ridiculous though. I had to forfeit. -- nm - amanda jones Sep 19, 12:31
        
        Oh hey, there it is. (nm) - musubi Sep 19, 12:29
        
        they didn't leave me alone. they *didn't see me.* -- nm - amanda jones Sep 19, 12:28 2
        
        I would have given anything to trade. -- nm - loosilu Sep 19, 12:29 1
        
        if it's not a competition, why are you trying so damn hard to have the last word? - amanda jones Sep 19, 12:30
        
        Carnies. -- nm - Diva Sep 19, 12:22
See B5 or 6. -- nm - The Ruiner Sep 19, 12:12
"having red hair is an envied trait" she's obviously insane -- nm - Beaker Sep 19, 12:10 2
- *adds Beaker to the list* -- nm - sycor Sep 19, 12:22
- zactly! -- nm - moles Sep 19, 12:12
"Dear prudence...parent for me! Thanks!" -- nm - Inigo Sep 19, 12:09
suck it up! there can be only one pretty one in each family. teach the ugly one to be funny and nice. -- nm - amanda jones Sep 19, 12:08 7
- Teach the other one to dress sluttyer. -- nm - The Ruiner Sep 19, 12:40
- yeah, ann - moles Sep 19, 12:12
- or smart -- nm - Strongbad Sep 19, 12:12 4
  - smart isn't engaging. you need to teach the ugly one to be engaging and warm. -- nm - amanda jones Sep 19, 12:16 3
    - and easy. nm -- nm - groiny Sep 19, 12:16 1
      - The voice of reason has returned. -- nm - The Ruiner Sep 19, 12:17
    - maybe some magic tricks? -- nm - loosilu Sep 19, 12:16

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somebody lying prudence chat q: her daughter with the beautiful red hair is the object of strangers' fawning, at the expense of the other daughter

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