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double bonus prude q: "a friend" is preggers from a one-night stand. "friend" doesn't think the dude wants to be a dad, so she's not telling

Posted by moles (aka chris) Oct 3 '11, 12:20

Secret pregnancy

A friend of mine is pregnant as a result of a one night stand with an aquaintance. She is planning to become a single mom. She has so far refused to tell the father of her child because she doesn't want to "burden" him when she is happy to raise the baby alone. He's a decent guy, he just doesn't ever want to get married or have a relationship, so she keeps saying she feels bad to shock him with the news. I feel like it's so wrong to keep something like this from him. Even if he decides he wants nothing to do with the baby, I feel like he should at least know and make his own decision. Would it be totally out of line for me to tell him myself? I am a firm believer in minding my own business but I feel it's completely wrong to keep this guy in the dark and have the decision made for him that he's going to have nothing to do with his child. If it were me I would be completely outraged that someone prevented me from getting to know my own child.

Responses:

I'm a very firm believer in knowing you'd rather be minding someone else's business instead of your own -- nm - CQ Oct 3, 12:42
Accidentally arrange for them to meet when she is in her third trimester. - con_carne Oct 3, 12:39
eh. -- nm - Don Homer Oct 3, 12:39
Keep working on the mom, The guy has the right to know -- nm - amoxy Oct 3, 12:37
state law would probably require some form of child support, a little advanced warning would be polite -- nm - zeitgeist Oct 3, 12:35 3
- if she's not planning to ever let him know, i doubt he's going on the birth certificate and i doubt she's going after him for $$. -- nm - kare Oct 3, 12:37 2
  - I think telling him is just the decent thing, but it's her choice. -- nm - loosilu Oct 3, 12:42
  - I think I would want to know regardless. nm -- nm - groiny Oct 3, 12:40
[deleted]
while i don't disagree with what she says, it is *absolutely not* her place to say anything. -- nm - Andie Oct 3, 12:25 9
- this. the mother-to-be might also know some things about the dad-to-be that she's not sharing. maybe she's making this decision in the best interest - kare Oct 3, 12:26 8
  - That's not what the friend says. - Dr.Johnny Vermin Oct 3, 12:38 7
    - just saying, it *is* possible she's not just a selfish whore. - kare Oct 3, 12:41 1
      - heh -- nm - CQ Oct 3, 12:44
    - doesn't matter. she's not the one to tell. -- nm - loosilu Oct 3, 12:41 4
      - Ideally? No. - Dr.Johnny Vermin Oct 3, 12:44 3
        
        Under any conditions: No. -- nm - Strongbad Oct 3, 12:46
        
        to rephrase, If I was knocked up, and a FRIEND was the one to tell the guy, I'd be murderous pissed off. -- nm - loosilu Oct 3, 12:45 1
        
        Tough shit. -- nm - Dr.Johnny Vermin Oct 3, 12:47
The father has a right to know. Your friend is a selfish, shortsighted fuck. Go with your instinct. -- nm - Dr.Johnny Vermin Oct 3, 12:23
She should tell him... but do NOT tell him yourself. That is not your news to tell. -- nm - Strongbad Oct 3, 12:23
if its an acquaintance that sees her even occasionally, isn't he going to have a good shot at figuring it out? -- nm - TFox Oct 3, 12:23 2
- maybe the friend is a huge whore -- nm - Beaker Oct 3, 12:24 1
  - the way they describe him, it seems they know the dude at least sort of well. -- nm - TFox Oct 3, 12:25
OFFS. You are not a firm believer. MYOB. -- nm - loosilu Oct 3, 12:21 1
- this -- nm - Beaker Oct 3, 12:23

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double bonus prude q: "a friend" is preggers from a one-night stand. "friend" doesn't think the dude wants to be a dad, so she's not telling

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