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triple bonus hax chat q: she's thinking about buying a house with her (no-credit score) live-in boyfriend. should he pay half or what?

Posted by poxie (aka chris) Oct 14 '11, 12:02

PAYING HALF AND BUYING A HOUSE

I'm struggling with whether to buy a house with or without my live-in boyfriend. I earn double his salary, and my credit score is high. He has zero savings and mediocre credit. I know I want to buy a house now: I am 35, have lived in an apartment for 15 years, and want the suburbs and some space. I'd buy a place where I could afford the mortgage on my own, but do I ask him to pay half? Ask him just to cover home repairs or property taxes? Worse, I'm trying not to feel resentful that while my married friends are buying their second homes, I'll be forced to buy a tiny starter home on my own or with someone who can't contribute equally.

Responses:

She's 1) making a major decision without him 2) doing it due to her feelings, not theirs 3) resenting him for not reading her mind. - David Oct 14, 12:12 1
- have you ever met poor people? - TFox Oct 14, 12:13
don't be an idiot. of course not. Buy it and charge him rent. -- nm - slutty werewolf demon cheerleader loosilu Oct 14, 12:09 3
- whore -- nm - kilbooooo Oct 14, 12:10 1
  - what do you have against cheerleaders? -- nm - slutty werewolf demon cheerleader loosilu Oct 14, 12:11
- yup. -- nm - znufrii Oct 14, 12:09
probably she'll end up paying more if she gets the house with him (higher interest with mediocre credit, right?) i'd base my decision on that, mostly - kare Oct 14, 12:08 1
- exactly this. If she can get a loan at all, these days. -- nm - slutty werewolf demon cheerleader loosilu Oct 14, 12:09
dump his loser ass, buy a co-op in the city and f*ck the doorman. -- nm - znufrii Oct 14, 12:06 1
- oh hell, the loser bf is probably doing that already -- nm - zeitgeist Oct 14, 12:19
" trying not to feel resentful" - too late. - Epiphany Oct 14, 12:06
if you love him, it shouldn't matter if he can pay half. there's never perfect parity in money in relationships.. - slutty vampire ghost pirate nurse amanda jones Oct 14, 12:05 20
- non-perfect parity is one thing, but the guy has no savings and no credit score. those are big red flags to me for most grown-ups. - b. Oct 14, 12:13 3
  - maybe he works for a nonprofit and gets paid peanuts to save the world. I don't know. - slutty vampire ghost pirate nurse amanda jones Oct 14, 12:16 2
    - so much depends on the individual situation, it is hard to say for sure without info. I just know that, for me, - b. Oct 14, 12:24 1
      - *pulls up in front of b.'s place with a u-haul* - poxie Oct 14, 12:25
- y'know, this is why i'm not totally sure i dig jeff's insurance agent. he was all, oh yeah, her stuff will be covered under your homeowner's, no - kare Oct 14, 12:09 4
  - if you're married, you're covered. if no, SOL. -- nm - slutty vampire ghost pirate nurse amanda jones Oct 14, 12:11 1
    - that's what i thought at the time (i actually used to be an insurance agent. it was horrible, but i digress). i think i need to check our policies, - kare Oct 14, 12:14
  - talk to jenbro - poxie Oct 14, 12:11 1
    - this was pre-marriage. i'm good now. -- nm - kare Oct 14, 12:12
- *ding* -- nm - Epiphany Oct 14, 12:07
- it sounds like she already resents his lack of werewithal though -- nm - poxie Oct 14, 12:06 9
  - yeah I mean, it's clear she doesn't want to do this with him. "if you love him..." -- nm - slutty vampire ghost pirate nurse amanda jones Oct 14, 12:07 8
    - if you love him and his credit sucks, you still shouldn't get a mortgage with him. -- nm - slutty werewolf demon cheerleader loosilu Oct 14, 12:12 7
      - I don't think she'd feel resentful if she loved him. -- nm - slutty vampire ghost pirate nurse amanda jones Oct 14, 12:13 6
        
        she's resentful because she's comparing herself to other people, and she needs to get over it. It's not the boyfriend's faul.t -- nm - slutty werewolf demon cheerleader loosilu Oct 14, 12:14 5
        
        right. her resentment is more about how her life has panned out, compared to her friends. ugh, i can't stand people like that -- nm - kare Oct 14, 12:15 3
        
        and the kind of dude she got, compared to her friends. (nmb non sequitur) - slutty vampire ghost pirate nurse amanda jones Oct 14, 12:20 2
        
        i was *so* disappointed with an Auntie Anne's last weekend. what the hell happened to them?? - kare Oct 14, 12:21 1
        
        at the mall, we have auntie ann's and some.... other thing. the other thing charges $3 for a totally sub-par twist, but - slutty vampire ghost pirate nurse amanda jones Oct 14, 12:24
        
        and now that I think of it, her letter fairly reeks of "why isn't he taking care of me?" -- nm - slutty werewolf demon cheerleader loosilu Oct 14, 12:15
This is why you don't live with someone until you're married with joint finances :) -- nm - kilbooooo Oct 14, 12:03 4
- sure and then she gets to take it all when she leaves your ass -- nm - decline Oct 14, 12:07
- [deleted] 1
  - Jesus was a wizard with the finances -- nm - kilbooooo Oct 14, 12:05
- Boooo! *throws stuff* -- nm - con_carnage Oct 14, 12:04
[deleted] 3
- false! -- nm - znufrii Oct 14, 12:08 2
  - [deleted] 1
    - irrelevant! -- nm - znufrii Oct 14, 12:16

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triple bonus hax chat q: she's thinking about buying a house with her (no-credit score) live-in boyfriend. should he pay half or what?

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