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On a scale of 1-10, how sincere is this e-mail reply from WoW Girl?

Posted by Tim (aka othertim) Oct 19 '11, 08:10

I'm not going to share the e-mail I wrote that this is a reply to, but I sent her something telling her that I needed closure and the best way for me to do it was to send a rambling e-mail telling her I hate her current boyfriend and how I don't understand how she could do what she did not only to me but also to her ex-boyfriend. I apologized that I'm sorry it's taken me so long to move on (and i'm playing less WoW to help me with that), but I think it's because I still don't have any answers as to how why this happened. I also mention how she told me she doesn't know who or what she wants in life right now but it sure seems to be the kid she's with. and if she doesn't want to talk to me anymore, just tell me instead of lying about it. This was her reply:

-------------------------------------
I wish both you and Neil could know just how badly I feel about what I did. I can't even articulate how terrible I feel as a person and as a girlfriend/friend. I sat up many nights (and still do) crying because I feel so bad and because I can't do anything to change it. No matter how much I regret it and how much you two forgive me, it won't change what I did.

When I developed my crush on you, I thought it was the best thing ever. You were funny and cool and I was extremely unhappy with Neil. It was a recipe for disaster. The longer I let it go on the worse I felt because I was essentially betraying Neil, who didn't deserve it despite our relationship not being the best. I shouldn't have let things go on as long as I did without saying something to you. I don't regret that I developed feelings for you, but I do regret the way I handled it. I handle emotional things terribly but that's no excuse. You at least deserved the decency for me to say I didn't feel quite the same way as you.

I wish I had all the answers to the why, but I don't know some of them myself. I know my feelings for you weren't as deep as yours were for me, I know it looked like things with Neil were going to work out (until Dan moved in). And I know there was something different about Jake that sparked things but I don't know what it was exactly. I don't think I'll ever be able to explain it to you, or to Neil, or to anyone really; I don't fully understand it myself.

Part of why things happened the way they did was because I didn't know how to tell you that my feelings had changed. I should have just been upfront about it, because even though that would have hurt I'm sure it would have been less so. I hate disappointing people and I just didn't know how to tell you. I also know that I was severely depressed, especially after Dan moved in with us. My emotional state wasn't and hadn't been stable since my mom died (until now, and even that's debatable some days). I can blame the depression, I can blame the unhappiness, but it doesn't change the fact that what I did was awful. I can't even express how terrible I feel about things. I feel like an idiot and a horrible person for what I did to you and for what I did to Neil. You guys did not deserve it, at all. I wish I could take it all back and do it all over to make things right.

I know you're trying to move on and I respect that. I've been playing less WoW lately too, which might also help. I do still want to talk to you, I wish you wouldn't think that I don't. And I definitely don't hate you.

I don't fully know what I want right now. I spent so many years chasing after something that wasn't going to happen and wondering what I wanted to do with myself career-wise. I know more what I don't want than what I do want at the moment. I still entertain the thoughts of Neil and I working out eventually, but I'm not sure I even want it anymore. And I'm not sure he does either, especially after everything that has happened. He's changed, I've changed; and we were both changing even before all the stuff over the last year or so. I plan on taking a good, long look at myself when I move into my own place so I can maybe figure out the whys and what I want.

We shall see.

Liz
------------------------
(Neil: ex-bf whom she still lives with until she can afford her own place; she just started a job 3 weeks ago. Jake: current boyfriend, the stupid assholeish know-it-all kid. lives in Washington. (they're in St. Louis) Dan: Neil's loserish brother who pretty much moved into the house they bought which was ostensibly for them only)

Responses:

I don't think sincerity is even possible from her. - Kim Pine dressed in a Ramona Flowers costume Oct 19, 08:26 1
- I'll admit to not knowing the full backstory, but that reply felt sincere to me. Still, it's best to end even the friendship, and move on. -- nm - Inigo Oct 19, 08:28
[deleted] 2
- Yep, I knew she had a boyfriend from day one. - Tim Oct 19, 08:43 1
  - it does seem like she 'led you on', and you were obviously helping her with her ego/self esteem at a time when she was feeling rejected by her BF. - Andie Oct 19, 08:48
the problem with asking why things happened is that they can almost never tell you anything that satisfies. - loosilu Oct 19, 08:17
Don't make us gouge your eyes out, Tim! -- nm - Reagen Oct 19, 08:16
i'd say it's very sincere and she is trying to make you see she knows she's screwed up. - Andie Oct 19, 08:16 1
- This sentence is really all the closure that should be needed: - TFox Oct 19, 08:20
Sounds pretty sincere, but it doesn't really matter. - pmb Oct 19, 08:16
I hate her so much. she's like, "please, let me keep stringing you along." -- nm - amanda jones Oct 19, 08:14 7
- I don't mean this as a dig at anyone or a generalization that should apply to everyone, but... - TFox Oct 19, 08:17 4
  - She probably doesn't know that it can only be postponed, not avoided. -- nm - Beryllium Oct 19, 08:19
  - she seems fine with neil and jake. -- nm - amanda jones Oct 19, 08:17 2
    - i think Neil would disagree. -- nm - Andie Oct 19, 08:18 1
      - Who's getting to first? -- nm - Max Oct 19, 08:19
- She sounds like a "collector". -- nm - Beryllium Oct 19, 08:15 1
  - yeah, right? totally my thought too. -- nm - amanda jones Oct 19, 08:16
it seems sincere enough, but if you just need closure (and you should) it doesn't matter much, kwim? -- nm - TFox Oct 19, 08:13

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On a scale of 1-10, how sincere is this e-mail reply from WoW Girl?

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