ST Alpha - "Okay, ST advice requested -- I have a situation where when my mom passed" (Reading a Post)

SlickerTalk
Search Archives
The Leaderboard
The FAQ

Down to Post

Backboards:

Posts: 155

Okay, ST advice requested -- I have a situation where when my mom passed

Posted by Will Hunting (aka JoeMetz) Oct 27 '11, 09:41

my dad promised my brother and I a rather large gift (basically pay off my brother's car and give me an equal amount of money). Let's assume it's 5-figures.

My family works in a very spiteful manner and I don't do well with confrontation.

It's been 7 months now and my brother who had no job or anything has gone to Florida, presumably with his car having been paid off). I've not seen a dime.

My dad isn't really taking the subtle hints "My car's ready to die, I could really use that gift." as any type of nudge.

What should I do? Given this wasn't a gift I asked for upfront, but was promised...and knowing there's a good chance he'll take a direct request poorly?

Responses:

find an intimidating dude to go at him with a baseball bat and tell me to "GIVE ME THE FUCKING MONEY!!!!" nm -- nm - ghouly Oct 27, 09:50 4
- "Ve vants ze money, Lebowski!" -- nm - TFox Oct 27, 09:50 3
  - "I think I saw it. Lemme take another look." -- nm - Mel Profit Oct 27, 09:52 2
    - Will, here's another good idea: marmot in the bathtub. -- nm - TFox Oct 27, 09:53 1
      - *looks at you funny* what the hell are you two planning? - Mel Profit Oct 27, 09:54
1) Don't assume your brother got anything. 2) Personally, I probably wouldn't bother since liekly he's changed his mind. 3) If you did ... - zork Oct 27, 09:48
[deleted] 1
- right, and if you ask, expect a negative response and move on -- nm - decline Oct 27, 09:49
If it was promised and hints aren't working then you might need to be more direct. "We are having a baby, your grandkid, and really need the money you - TWuG Oct 27, 09:46 1
- yep ... agree with this completely. -- nm - JenBro Oct 27, 09:49
Yeah this is a tough one. Usually on the subject of promises I live by the idea of it is the promiser's job to remember, not mine to remind. But in - bc/nc Oct 27, 09:46
Offhand, I'd brace for disappointment and ask him as directly but unconfrontationally as possible and then - prayformojo Oct 27, 09:45 9
- right. if i was bringing it up, i'd bring it up in specifics, not hints. "dad, when you promised me and (bro) that X-amount of money, did you mean - Frankenstandie Oct 27, 09:47 5
  - This. Good Luck Will -- nm - amoxy Oct 27, 10:04
  - Andie's right on about this. - Mel Profit Oct 27, 09:51
  - I like this wording. -- nm - Epiphany Oct 27, 09:50
  - this is pretty much exactly how I would word it. -- nm - 4,198,574,430 Oct 27, 09:49
  - That is easily the best shot at it now. -- nm - Spawn Oct 27, 09:48
- yeah, i think so too. -- nm - TFox Oct 27, 09:47
- Yup. -- nm - Spawn Oct 27, 09:46
- Agreed. -- nm - Siri Oct 27, 09:46
if it wasn't in her will, then it's basically his money now. and, while it totally totally sucks, i'm not sure what you can do. - Frankenstandie Oct 27, 09:45 5
- Sadly, I don't think so. He's more interested in what kinda chrome offsets on the new Vette he can than being positive about a non-bastard grandchild -- nm - Will Hunting Oct 27, 09:47
- Oh, there is a baby arriving? - kelly Oct 27, 09:46 3
  - [deleted]
  - phew - Frankenstandie Oct 27, 09:48 1
    - Oh, I'm sorry! -- nm - kelly Oct 27, 09:51
would a nice letter be considered a direct request? my only suggestion - figure out how you want to do it and make it a one time shot - Epiphany Oct 27, 09:44
Was it in her will? -- nm - Spawn Oct 27, 09:44 1
- No, separate instances, just soon after. -- nm - Will Hunting Oct 27, 09:44
Your dad was executor? Do you know the probate lawyer? -- nm - nubby Oct 27, 09:42 10
- This wasn't part of her will; this was his offering to presumably be a better father. -- nm - Will Hunting Oct 27, 09:43 9
  - this is going to be tough. My best suggestion is to sit down with him and have a calm discussion (as much as possible). - loosilu Oct 27, 09:46
  - Ouch. -- nm - Spawn Oct 27, 09:45 7
    - I freely admit, I'm wanting money on this, my useless brother was given everything for a f**king decade, and I haven't gotten a goddamned thing - Will Hunting Oct 27, 09:46 6
      - stuff like this totally blows, man. - TFox Oct 27, 09:58 5
        
        [deleted] 4
        
        Right. (I mean, I had no use for her dad before I even knew about this stuff, so... different.) :) -- nm - TFox Oct 27, 10:07
        
        I'll be honest....to me, a promise you make is a promise you keep*, especially if it's to your kids. - Will Hunting Oct 27, 10:06 2
        
        Grrrr. -- nm - kelly Oct 27, 10:11 1
        
        Why grrrr? - Will Hunting Oct 27, 10:12

Post a message top

Okay, ST advice requested -- I have a situation where when my mom passed

Replies are disabled on threads older than 7 days.