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In response to "Dear Prudence chat: Awkward run-in with future father-in-law... " by Don Homer

one of my friends has an uncle who had a girlfriend (remember the prison tattoo we asked about last holiday season?)

who groped him in a stairwell and shoved her tongue down his throat. he was like, what do I do (besides brush my teeth immeds, obvs)? there's nothing I can do. but it's fine because pooch usually likes classier chicks so there's no way it'll last.

yeah they totally got married two weeks ago. my friend is now wondering if it's poss to call in dead to thanksgiving.

(yes, jack. you know who this is.)


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