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In response to
"Friday Canadian Relationship Advice Colum: My best friend won�t tell her ex she�s pregnant .....(link)"
by
Walt_Disney
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The columnist replies.....
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Encourage your friend to go online and Google �adoptee rights.� There she will discover several large groups of extremely irritated people who have been told by the state they have no right to know who they are or where they come from, biologically speaking. It�s bad enough when your government does this to you � now imagine the betrayal a person feels when the individual who represents one full half of your genetic destiny refuses to let you know anything about the other half.
We live in a society that celebrates familial connection above any other kind of relationship. We are shown photos of our great-grandparents and encouraged to marvel over facial similarities. We are told to take pride in our bloodlines, celebrate our ancestry. Yet in same breath, adoptees are called �ungrateful� just for wanting to meet, even once, their moms and dads. Children conceived by anonymous sperm donors are scolded for daring to �invade the privacy� of their genetic fathers. The mixed message seems to be that a potential parent�s right to a warm, wiggling bundle of joy trumps any right that bundle might eventually claim to accurate information about his or her own family.
Look, it�s a moral absolute: If you are going to make a human being, you have a fundamental responsibility to that person � to honestly disclose exactly who they are and where they come from. Everyone has a right to their own true story and your friend is considering trampling on it where her future offspring is concerned. Her future offspring will not thank her.
So you see that I agree most strenuously with Emilie above. But I also agree with Jennifer and Pat. To wit, if the child has a right to know, so does the father, unwitting (and jerkwad-ish) participant though he might have been. Ultimately, though it�s not your call, or mine. Crib from this column when next the subject comes up with your friend and then, as Pat says, �butt out.�
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