ST Alpha - "question 2! this one's for ST dads (and others with opinions). it's about how much time to ideally take off when the baby comes." (Reading a Post)

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question 2! this one's for ST dads (and others with opinions). it's about how much time to ideally take off when the baby comes.

Posted by kare (aka kare) Nov 28 '11, 12:26

my guy and i are trying to decide how much time he should take off. how much time did you take off, and was it enough (or not enough)? what do you think is the ideal? (tia!)

Responses:

Your vacation time will be best used when the baby arrives since your typical vacation won't be a priority for the first year. -- nm - CrankYanker Nov 28, 12:45
Two weeks, at least. - Stephen Nov 28, 12:39
I took two weeks. I can't say if it was ideal or not ... but having my mother there for a week at that point in time was *not* ideal. -- nm - Beryllium Nov 28, 12:33 17
- seems like a lot of people do this. among other potential issues, it seems like this might prevent the dad from bonding with the kid, you know? -- nm - kare Nov 28, 12:35 16
  - not so much about bonding, per se, but it's better for everyone if you figure stuff out on your own. - Reagen Nov 28, 12:41 6
    - [deleted] 5
      - I stayed with Carrie for a week and then I think each of our mom's stayed for a week. Worked out great. - Jim Nov 28, 12:43 4
        
        this actually makes a little more sense. -- nm - kare Nov 28, 12:45 2
        
        Another tip (and this will be difficult to do), but while you're in the hospital...it's ok to let the baby stay in the nursery for a while. - Jim Nov 28, 13:01 1
        
        i've heard this one before. it does make sense. thanks! -- nm - kare Nov 28, 13:05
        
        hey Carrie, you gonna get up and rustle up some dinner? - Jim si Nov 28, 12:44
  - having the dad's mother there causes a conflict because (in my experience) all she wants to do is hold the baby - Beryllium Nov 28, 12:39 2
    - yeah. they're there to "help." ;) -- nm - kare Nov 28, 12:40
    - There's an easy way to solve that. - Don Homer Nov 28, 12:40
  - I don't know about that, but I am pretty sure I wouldn't want a houseguest, period. -- nm - loosilu Nov 28, 12:37 1
    - oh hell no. -- nm - kare Nov 28, 12:38
  - MIL? What wife wouldn't go nuts? -- nm - Spawn Nov 28, 12:36 3
    - this, exactly. -- nm - Beryllium Nov 28, 12:37 1
      - My sister stopped by a few times, and that was awesome. - Spawn Nov 28, 12:38
    - oh, i concur. -- nm - kare Nov 28, 12:37
I did 3 weeks. -- nm - Spawn Nov 28, 12:33
I did a week and it was plenty. -- nm - Jim Nov 28, 12:31
A week at most. Babies are (mine was, anyway) surprisingly low-maintenance those first six months or so, once you get the routine down. - Dr.Vermin Nov 28, 12:31 1
- I think having a baby that low maintenance is not the norm. Somewhere in between "It's a breeze" and colic is the typical new parent experience. -- nm - Inigo Nov 28, 12:48
2 days. - groiny Nov 28, 12:30 1
- jeez. :( -- nm - kare Nov 28, 12:31
i had about 2 weeks after heather went back. frankly, i could have used more. -- nm - prayformojo Nov 28, 12:30
I took 2 weeks. It was great, but I don't think it was all "necessary". If you can take 2, I would take it. -- nm - pmb Nov 28, 12:29
Zero kids, but 3 months. My company gives 3 months for the mother or father, which I think, is pretty fair. - flavorize Nov 28, 12:29 1
- paid? are you in the US? that's pretty cool. -- nm - kare Nov 28, 12:31
3 weeks seems good. -- nm - Don Homer Nov 28, 12:29
I think for both our boys I took off just under two weeks. All the time in the hospital, then like 3-4 days at home, and then let y'all have your time -- nm - TFox Nov 28, 12:29
5 days. it was probably enough. After a week I'd have been itching to get back, I think. -- nm - Reagen Nov 28, 12:28 13
- wow. (we're thinking about four weeks. hmm.) -- nm - kare Nov 28, 12:30 12
  - That's great. -- nm - Don Homer Nov 28, 12:37
  - if you end up needing a c-section, I could see it being a big help. but what groiny said -- if they let him do it, why not? -- nm - loosilu Nov 28, 12:32 1
    - he mostly has to use vacation time, so... -- nm - kare Nov 28, 12:41
  - (mind you, I took four mos of parental leave later on) -- nm - Reagen Nov 28, 12:32
  - why not, if he can? family time is good time. - TFox Nov 28, 12:31 7
    - you don't think there will be much for him to do? hmm. i mean, i know i'll be feeding her but it just seems like there's a lot of other work to be - kare Nov 28, 12:34 6
      - it all depends on the sleep patterns. -- nm - Reagen Nov 28, 12:36
      - What would all that additional time accomplish? i.e. "Enough" for what? -- nm - con_carne Nov 28, 12:35 4
        
        adjusting to a new life, a new routine, being responsible for this little being, helping me with all the work involved with a newborn... -- nm - kare Nov 28, 12:36 3
        
        I think you've got the right thinking. It's establishes the teamwork and patience you'll need later on. -- nm - Inigo Nov 28, 12:53 1
        
        :) ok - thanks so much to you and all. really appreciate it. -- nm - kare Nov 28, 12:56
        
        Stuff like shopping and house cleaning, too. And it's a nice way to ensure you both get enough sleep. -- nm - mara Nov 28, 12:38
IIRC I took a week maybe after the last... -- nm - Beaker Nov 28, 12:28

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question 2! this one's for ST dads (and others with opinions). it's about how much time to ideally take off when the baby comes.

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