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In response to
"I think I could use some help. Or feedback. Or support. Or maybe just some perspective. One of my kids seems to have a drug problem."
by
landbeck
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Some thoughts from an underqualified parent of infants and toddlers:
Posted by
TFox
Dec 31 '11, 10:32
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first off, I think you should be proud of yourself. the number of kids who would feel comfortable telling their father as much as he has told you, what sounds like mostly voluntarily, is very very minimal. that means you've developed a great rapport with him and are far better equipped to be able to address this than others.
next, i agree with what nubby says, that providing rationale is key. i might add in with the tuition that for you to continue to pay tuition would suggest that you believe him to be holding to the BYU standards of conduct, and that you are not willing to lie to a faith institution to cover for him.
lastly, i'd maybe suggest that you try to separate the two issues. you may not be successful at convincing him to drop recreational drugs altogether. i'd focus on that hallucinogenic and see if you can get him to see why using that is a horrible idea. focus on the theft, which is effed up and beyond the pale; impossible to argue you don't have a drug problem when you are stealing from your parents to buy drugs.
anywhere he goes, he's going to meet kids that smoke weed. getting him to stop that entirely is going to be exceedingly difficult. you're fighting an enormous and pervasive wave of peer pressure there. the hallucinogenic seems more rare, and maybe something that's popular at BYU more than other places. a change of scenery might curb that just due to lack of availability.
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Responses:
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