ST Alpha - "Girl is fully and madly in love with her boyfriend. Girl gets wasted because she didn't eat dinner. Boy is entirely sober and makes the move." (Reading a Post)

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Girl is fully and madly in love with her boyfriend. Girl gets wasted because she didn't eat dinner. Boy is entirely sober and makes the move.

Posted by Hotkiss (aka hotkiss7348) Feb 2 '12, 08:19

Girl tells other girls, a few times in private, that she is uncomfortable with his hand on her thigh when chatting, etc, but is too nice to fend him off. The rest of us have a fun time cockblocking all night and generally monitoring the situation.

At one point, they are seen making out before girl walks straight out realizing she's made a huge mistake. Some say it was ultimately her fault she didn't say no more firmly. I say her being drunk (stumbling, slurring, etc) and wanting to say no means there was never any true consent.

Thoughts, ST?

Responses:

I should have specified that the guy in question was not her boyfriend, but a brother of another friend in the group. - Hotkiss Feb 2, 08:42 4
- Stay out of it. -- nm - lileve Feb 2, 08:45
- he's a douchebag; she's skanky. -- nm - the amanda nones Feb 2, 08:42 2
  - succinct and to the point. -- nm - Beaker Feb 2, 08:50
  - This. -- nm - lileve Feb 2, 08:46
Girl needs to take responsibility, not put her safety in the hands of drunk, partying friends. - con_carne Feb 2, 08:34 21
- yeah, her friends suck too. -- nm - loosilu Feb 2, 08:36 20
  - I disagree here, you can't look after every drunk friend. They have to take responsibility for their own actions drunk or sober -- nm - Beaker Feb 2, 08:38 18
    - To be clear, I was saying despite friends' best intentions, they should not be faulted because you can't stand up to your SO. -- nm - con_carne Feb 2, 08:42 2
      - (not her SO. boyfriend is not the make-out-dude.) -- nm - Andie Feb 2, 08:43 1
        
        *grumble* Darned caffeine needs to kick in already... *grumble* -- nm - con_carne Feb 2, 08:44
    - they aren't ultimately responsible, but, back in the day, if i thought my friend was too drunk to make safe decisions, yeah, i'd step in. -- nm - Andie Feb 2, 08:41 2
      - if it gets to that point, don't you leave and go home? - groiny Feb 2, 08:42 1
        
        generally, yes. but just because you are the *more* sober one, doesn't mean you are *sober*. - Andie Feb 2, 08:43
    - I am not going out with my friends to be a babysitter, you are on your own. - groiny Feb 2, 08:39
    - if your friend says, "i'm drunk, i need help here, help me", then either you are a friend and you help, or you're not and you don't. - TFox Feb 2, 08:39 4
      - This would be applicable if the question being posed was "are the friends scumbags?" But that's not what's being asked. -- nm - con_carne Feb 2, 08:43 1
        
        we were asked for our thoughts. my thoughts have hence been provided. -- nm - TFox Feb 2, 08:44
      - I've told you guys about the girl we saw being dragged out of the big easy, right? - the amanda nones Feb 2, 08:42 1
        
        They probably drank just as much, but were able to handle it better (or at least hide it better). -- nm - Don Homer Feb 2, 08:43
    - if my friend tells me a creepy dude is feeling her up, I help her out. I don't "have fun cockblocking" for the rest of the evening. -- nm - loosilu Feb 2, 08:38 5
      - However, I start out by saying "Then don't keep going back to sit next to him, dumbass." -- nm - loosilu Feb 2, 08:40 2
        
        right (this is what I was aiming for. If she actively keeps loking for his attention, then screw her, she is on her own) -- nm - Beaker Feb 2, 08:41 1
        
        basically it's a team effort to create drama. -- nm - loosilu Feb 2, 08:42
      - depends on what the cockblocking was. If she still ended up making out with him then she must not have minded that much? -- nm - Beaker Feb 2, 08:39 1
        
        well, was she making out with his cock? - groiny Feb 2, 08:40
  - more booze! poor decision making for everyone! YAY!!! -- nm - Bad Idea Bears Feb 2, 08:37
"too nice to fend him off" is complete bullshit. she is partially responsible. and he is a dick as well. -- nm - loosilu Feb 2, 08:32
the dude sounds like a pyscho though. Sober? WTF? Also, he meets some girl then starts getting handsy on her thigh?... - Beaker Feb 2, 08:31 3
- you don't get out much do you ? -- nm - decline Feb 2, 08:32 1
  - this. -- nm - loosilu Feb 2, 08:33
- you wish to subscribe to it?? -- nm - Don Homer Feb 2, 08:31
he's a jerk. but she is not off the hook. being drunk isn't an excuse to make out with some guy who isn't you BF. Also, she wasn't that drunk all - Andie Feb 2, 08:29 16
- also, if you spent the night having fun cockblocking, how did the making out happen? don't leave your drunk friends alone with creepy dudes. how hard - the amanda nones Feb 2, 08:31 14
  - right. If a dude has his hand on your thigh and you don't like it, then you sit somewhere else. - loosilu Feb 2, 08:34
  - this is like a "i'm deflecting that my friend has a right to be pissed at me by convincing her that she never consentually cheated in the 1st place". -- nm - TFox Feb 2, 08:33 12
    - *ding* -- nm - znufrii Feb 2, 08:36
    - and she can't be that 'fully and madly in love' if she's sucking face with some creepy guy at a bar - decline Feb 2, 08:35
    - oooh. you are correct. -- nm - the amanda nones Feb 2, 08:35 9
      - imagine if we were hearing this the other way "her boyfriend said it wasn't cheating because he was drunk! and his friends didn't stop him! and he - Andie Feb 2, 08:40
      - "technically it's only cheating if you ate a full dinner. you only had a salad." -- nm - TFox Feb 2, 08:36 7
        
        it's only cheating if every drink you had was less than 15% ABV. -- nm - the amanda nones Feb 2, 08:37 3
        
        "you had passed responsibility for not cheating to us, but then Archer came on, so really none of us are at fault." -- nm - TFox Feb 2, 08:38 2
        
        "you weren't facebook official, so we assumed the relationship wasn't that serious." -- nm - the amanda nones Feb 2, 08:39 1
        
        "look, if it was me in your shoes, i totally would have jammed him. so i figured i'd help you out." -- nm - TFox Feb 2, 08:40
        
        does "just the tip" count as sheating? -- nm - Beaker Feb 2, 08:36 2
        
        Only if there's more than one pump. -- nm - mafic Feb 2, 08:38
        
        it's a partial sheathing. -- nm - TFox Feb 2, 08:37
- it's not nice to tell guys that you have a boyfriend, Andie. it totally puts a crimp in their plans. -- nm - TFox Feb 2, 08:31
Alcohol is great! It leads to lost of great life choices. -- nm - Mop (196 lbs) Feb 2, 08:28
little of both. sober guy hitting on drunk girl is poor form, but "too nice to fend him off" is crap. if you're not interested, say so. I'd rather not - mafic Feb 2, 08:27
She was weak and he took advantage. They are both to blame. -- nm - lileve Feb 2, 08:26 4
- Maybe it's just me, but if I'm dating someone and I'm in love with them, and we make out in a bar, I'm not sure that's taking advantage. -- nm - MDH Feb 2, 08:27 2
  - I think she was not making out with her bf but someoen else. -- nm - lileve Feb 2, 08:32
  - it's got to be a "did she cheat?" discussion, it's the only way it makes a lick of sense. -- nm - TFox Feb 2, 08:28
- If I understood that correctly. -- nm - lileve Feb 2, 08:26
If I'm reading this right, the bf had a hand on her the whole night, they made out, and left together, and she never said anything/ no one stopped it - MDH Feb 2, 08:25 8
- I think the boy in the story is someone other than her bf (who I'm betting is in another country). -- nm - mafic Feb 2, 08:29
- I interpreted the story as she realized *that* night what a douchebag her bf is and walked out on him and that her friends were instrumental in - CrankYanker Feb 2, 08:28 3
  - we're also learning that Hotkiss leaves something to be desired as a storyteller. -- nm - TFox Feb 2, 08:29 2
    - we should spend 5 boards trying to interpet the many possibilities. -- nm - Don Homer Feb 2, 08:31 1
      - just 5? -- nm - Beaker Feb 2, 08:32
- More like some other guy had a hand on her, she ended up making out with him, but then left when she realised what she was doing. -- nm - Roger More Feb 2, 08:27 2
  - oh, I didn't see this possibilty....makes more sense. -- nm - CrankYanker Feb 2, 08:29
  - Ooooh okay, I'm reading it wrong then. Thanks. -- nm - MDH Feb 2, 08:28
I can only say that I'm glad she got out safely and that nothing serious happened. I applaud her friends. - CrankYanker Feb 2, 08:24
dude should have some class and not face eat a drunk chick -- nm - oblique Feb 2, 08:24
"but is too nice to fend him off" omg, get a grip and tell him to get his hand off of it. -- nm - lileve Feb 2, 08:24
this post is confusing. she didn't give consent to make out? -- nm - TFox Feb 2, 08:21 8
- by getting hammered and not controlling her own actions, she's at least partially fault. - the amanda nones Feb 2, 08:28
- and was the sober boy her boyfriend or some other dude? (I'm assuming the bf) -- nm - Beaker Feb 2, 08:22 6
  - oh, i assumed so too but maybe not. that maybe makes it make more sense if its not. -- nm - TFox Feb 2, 08:23 3
    - in which case, i say her friends did a shitty job of being friends when a drunk friend was asking for help. -- nm - TFox Feb 2, 08:24 2
      - Yeah, "monitoring the situation" is total bullshit. Stop it if she wants it stopped, don't play around with things like this. -- nm - MDH Feb 2, 08:26 1
        
        *nods* -- nm - znufrii Feb 2, 08:34
  - That's what I thought at first, but it only really makes sense if it's the opposite -- nm - Roger More Feb 2, 08:23 1
    - (why I asked :) ) -- nm - Beaker Feb 2, 08:25

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Girl is fully and madly in love with her boyfriend. Girl gets wasted because she didn't eat dinner. Boy is entirely sober and makes the move.

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