boston.com Love Letters - She Never Contributes
Posted by
Diva (aka Diva)
Mar 30 '12, 10:26
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Hi Meredith,
I need some advice that I am sure many other male readers could benefit from. I've been dating a great girl for over two months but I need some help in the "money & dating" department. My problem is that every time we go out I pick up the check and don't even get a "thank you" in return. So my issue is twofold. One is the lack of the words "thank you," and the other is -- how long is it appropriate for the guy to always pick-up the tab? I am 30 years old and probably make two or three times as much as she does. She is 26 years old and has a good job but doesn't make much money. On average we see each other 3 or 4 times a week.
Admittedly, I enjoy going to the nicer places in Boston so each date runs around $150-$250 with drinks, cabs, etc. Multiply that by 3 or 4 and you get the weekly expenditures. I've dated a lot, the training wheels were off quite a while ago, but I've never really experienced this issue. First 8 to 10 dates is totally understandable, of course the guy pays. My thought has always been that after that period things don't need to even out but once in a blue moon it really would be appropriate for the girl to at least pay for a round of drinks, maybe a cab ride, maybe for lunch. I've got no issues paying for dinner all the time if I saw at least some minimal hint of reciprocity. Do you think I am being unreasonable here? I'm not asking to split the tab every time ... a simple "thank you" and "let me get this round" would be enough.
This issue is really starting to be on my mind a lot when I am with her. Is this an appropriate subject to bring up with her? What do you think is the right way to approach it? Maybe my time frame is off and it's really the first few months of dating that the guy needs to bankroll? Again, I've been around and never had this issue. Every other girl I've dated said "thank you" and at least covered a lunch tab after some time.
Thanks Meredith!
� Tired of Paying All The Time, Boston
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