unleashed from the bounds of the darned iPad, here are a lot of words, starting with, "I'm sorry.."
Posted by
b. (aka starrynit)
Apr 17 '12, 12:50
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I�m sorry if my posts last night contributed to general negativity here last night and today. that wasn�t expected, and we�ve had enough bad stuff lately to make it an extra unhappy thing now.
about last night:
over the years, I�ve been on both sides of loosi stuff, depending on what was in the mix (ranging from �you always defend her� to �you always jump on me� � sometimes even in the same thread!); and I�ve also been on neither side, when I�ve been able to stay out of various frays. I�ve never been a fan of piling-on, and I�ve never done it just to do it or make myself feel better or her feel worse or the like. when I see someone who is a genuinely good and decent person impacted negatively by bad behavior, however, and especially if there�s apparently a lack of understanding on why it was bad, fray-jumping is more likely.
I�m not going to say anything specific that could possibly make Max feel bad. I will say: 1. solely because it was mentioned elsewhere to me: I don�t think he�s a virgin, but have no for-sure knowledge either way; and that was not at the heart of my anger last night. 2. I haven�t had any off-board contact with Max in forever, and that was limited. except for infrequent and ika. exceptions, I haven�t had regular contact with anyone else from here for years either. (if I think about it, it makes me sad; and I don�t need that, so �don�t think about it, b.!�) anyway, I am not on any lists; and, more specifically, I haven�t ever and wouldn�t ever be on a personal gossip mailing list. it sucks to know that things you�ve told a trusted someone in confidence have been shared with others, and that�s often in the personal gossip mix � I've been hurt by that myself and wouldn't want anyone else to be because of me.
for better or worse, though, when I am here, I pay attention and I have a very good memory. what I know from that is what pushed me last night. without going into detail, I�ll leave it with what others have said, since that�s enough � once someone has expressed something is not ok with them for any reason, being dismissive is not ok. if someone can�t even explain why they said what they did, and say they have no idea what button it pushed, it should be even easier to be immediately and publicly (to stop criticism in its tracks) apologetic for any offense caused instead of seeming to grasp at excuses, and, to this moment, still not actually answering what the reason was for the inclusion. that not being addressed is what made it hard for me to accept that genuine cluelessness was in the mix; but, after reading pmb�s post and one from Andie earlier, maybe it is. thanks to them for reasonable doubt. ;) and thanks to loosi for sharing that she did e-mail Max. it was not apparent when I walked away last night that she even understood the need for that, so I�m glad it happened.
I hope he comes back soon. it�s possible I might even offer myself to make sure he�s not a youknowwhat; but that�s more a punishment than a lure for him, so I�ll resist. ;p
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