ST Alpha - "friday hax chat q: parents are fully funding the daughter's ride to one of two potential colleges. do they get to make the final decision on which?" (Reading a Post)

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friday hax chat q: parents are fully funding the daughter's ride to one of two potential colleges. do they get to make the final decision on which?

Posted by pixitude (aka chris) Apr 20 '12, 09:50

CHOOSING A COLLEGE

My kid has to make her final decision about which of two (very good) colleges to send her acceptance letter to. Her dad and I want her to go to one place, will be fully funding this education, and have the perspective to see it's the smarter all-around choice for her future. She is leaning slightly toward the other, but we recognize that pushing her at all will probably backfire. So, my question: Is it unreasonable for parents to simply decide they're going to make the final decision, when it's a decision this major that she will have to live with?

Responses:

absolutely not -- nm - Epiphany Apr 20, 11:06
no. -- nm - Andie Apr 20, 10:36
If the other college was ok for her to apply to, you don't get to yank it out at this point. -- nm - loosilu Apr 20, 10:18
Of course not. Daughter is agreeing to your control when she decides to live on your dime. -- nm - con_carne Apr 20, 10:02
Sure. They should also have the final decision on her career and her husband. -- nm - Roger More Apr 20, 10:01 7
- "career" is a good analogy... - Ser Vermyn Apr 20, 10:12 6
  - the kid's an adult, she has to decide her own life path. or, in the future "We are paying for your wedding. So we've decided you are marrying Bob and - Andie Apr 20, 10:40 1
    - Heh! Touché. -- nm - Ser Vermyn Apr 20, 10:42
  - uh, not really. -- nm - loosilu Apr 20, 10:18 2
    - If the parents were subsidizing that too... -- nm - Ser Vermyn Apr 20, 10:38 1
      - if they have a problem with school #2, they shouldn't have let her apply. -- nm - loosilu Apr 20, 10:39
  - I meant more in the sense of "I want to be an architect." "Too bad, you're going to be a surgeon." -- nm - Roger More Apr 20, 10:16
her decision. -- nm - mafic Apr 20, 09:59
give her your reasoning and opinions and then tell her you'll respect her final decision no matter what - ultimately she is the one who must be happy - JenBro Apr 20, 09:55
nope -- nm - decline Apr 20, 09:54
depends... - znufrii Apr 20, 09:52 6
- and - znufrii Apr 20, 10:21 5
  - Unless she's *enthused* about following her drunken frat-oriented bf to Arizona State. - Ser Vermyn Apr 20, 10:24 4
    - Clearly not...they're writing to an advice columnist about this. How wise can they be? -- nm - Will Hunting Apr 20, 10:39
    - I'm assuming based on the informationprovided that the daughter in question is not a dumbass. - znufrii Apr 20, 10:25 1
      - [re-reads] Yeah, if she is choosing between two "very good schools"... I think you're right. - Ser Vermyn Apr 20, 10:37
    - she admits both are good schools. -- nm - loosilu Apr 20, 10:24
no -- nm - Beaker Apr 20, 09:52
Just because her dad's a legacy, doesn't mean Clown College is for everyone. She'll have... (wait for it) - Ser Vermyn Apr 20, 09:52
No. -- nm - pmb Apr 20, 09:51

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friday hax chat q: parents are fully funding the daughter's ride to one of two potential colleges. do they get to make the final decision on which?

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