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also of note, the last message I got from the poster was ....

Posted by groiny (aka groiny) Apr 25 '12, 13:17

"your wife is frantically trying to get my number from people to talk to me. She knows damn well I know too much. Karma is a bitch."

So I had sent her a response asking for specific details, which she has not provided since Monday night.

Responses:

Let's take a different approach. How much faith do you have in your wife right now? - David Apr 25, 13:43 3
- also, whichever way it goes, can you see yourself happy with her in the future? -- nm - zork Apr 25, 14:01
- IIRC, we were at this person's wedding...... - groiny Apr 25, 13:49
- This -- nm - amoxy Apr 25, 13:48
I really feel for you and have 2 pieces of advice. 1) Don't go looking for answers you're not ready to handle. 2) Keep your cool - no matter what. - decline Apr 25, 13:43
I'm going to take a completely contrarian point of view here. - pmb Apr 25, 13:34 14
- Yeah, I like giving the benefit of the doubt. -- nm - Dr.Vermin Apr 25, 13:45
- But here's the thing. - Dignan Apr 25, 13:38 9
  - He asked for the info and she suddenly got quiet. I think that's telling too. -- nm - pmb Apr 25, 13:42 8
    - [deleted] 7
      - IMO, he asked for the proof and the woman got suddenly quiet. As I said, I think that's telling. - pmb Apr 25, 13:50 6
        
        This is groiny. - Dignan Apr 25, 14:01 1
        
        me too. while i can recognize the wisdom in trying to get past it, i really could not. if i had suspicions, i couldn't stop till i felt i knew - Andie Apr 25, 14:04
        
        [deleted] 3
        
        But we know what he'll say, so then you're trying to read body language, read minds, make sense of intangible messages. - pmb Apr 25, 14:05
        
        I think the dude has the worst odds of uncovering anything. a) he'll lie if he's at all smart b) the odds of some physical issue go way up if you do - Will Hunting Apr 25, 14:04
        
        How do you find proof of something that didn't happen? - Beryllium Apr 25, 14:02
- monocle is a wise wise man. -- nm - loosilu Apr 25, 13:37
- [deleted]
- I agree with this advice -- nm - con_carne Apr 25, 13:36
I'm lousy with relationships. But I think you should drop it all right now. then hire a PI to find out the truth. don't let what seems to be a - peglegpete Apr 25, 13:29 1
- not the worst idea, if he can afford one and the activities are likely still happening, which they probably are not. -- nm - zork Apr 25, 13:32
I say you find out what you can from this poster, forgot about contacting the guy who might have had an affair with your wife. - Inigo Apr 25, 13:23 2
- How did you get written proof of an affair? -- nm - David Apr 25, 13:25 1
  - In a way groiny shouldn't pursue. -- nm - Inigo Apr 25, 13:37
Here's my unsolicited read, for whatever it's worth: - TFox Apr 25, 13:22 50
- answers.... - groiny Apr 25, 13:24 22
  - yeah. - TFox Apr 25, 13:26
  - My concern there is that a person would say "I know nothing about it" if they didn't rather than "I don't want to get involved." - David Apr 25, 13:26 20
    - for what it's worth, I have a former co-worker who to this day I don't know if she was having an affair with the boss. - loosilu Apr 25, 13:30
    - Yes. This and the fact that groiny's always had a gut feeling about the dude are both huge factors. nm - Dignan Apr 25, 13:29
    - i must agree. i think if you don't buy the story, you say that outright. -- nm - Andie Apr 25, 13:28 17
      - and the person whose wall it was is friends with groiny too (at least in Facebook parlance), so she may not want to lie about it not happening... - TFox Apr 25, 13:29 16
        
        also of note : both poster and person whos wall it was still work for the guy. nm -- nm - groiny Apr 25, 13:31 15
        
        [deleted] 8
        
        Or was spurned by him. He may be the real target here, and mrs. groiny is the collateral damage. nm - Dignan Apr 25, 13:41 7
        
        If he's sexually harrassed more than one woman, it needs to come out anyway. -- nm - David Apr 25, 13:45
        
        and/or is trying to cover up her own theft from the company by making Mrs. groiny look bad -- nm - znufrii Apr 25, 13:43 5
        
        or she could be a Russian spy! -- nm - TFox Apr 25, 13:45 1
        
        now, that's just silly... -- nm - znufrii Apr 25, 13:45
        
        In any case, I hope David Mamet is reading this. nm - Dignan Apr 25, 13:44 2
        
        Pixie is. That's the same thing, right? -- nm - Beryllium Apr 25, 13:58 1
        
        They both have inexplicable crushes on Rebecca Pidgeon. nm - Dignan Apr 25, 13:59
        
        Nobody needs this mess in their lives. I'm sorry, man. -- nm - con_carne Apr 25, 13:33
        
        that's bizarre, but for totally different reasons. - TFox Apr 25, 13:32 4
        
        maybe they have something else lined up and are leaving anyway. -- nm - zork Apr 25, 13:45
        
        This is a concern I have. If it's untrue and the boss can see it, she's fired right now. -- nm - David Apr 25, 13:41
        
        the poster is just insanely stupid, clearly. -- nm - Andie Apr 25, 13:34
        
        agreed. and why go after someone after she's fired? the firing would be the end. - loosilu Apr 25, 13:33
- [deleted]
- The one thing I would do if the affair happened in the past couple of years is check phone records for texts/calls. -- nm - David Apr 25, 13:24 21
  - He may have been her boss at one time, but if she is still calling him after she no longer works there - amoxy Apr 25, 13:25 20
    - since he fired her, there is little chance it still went on after that. nm -- nm - groiny Apr 25, 13:26 19
      - I'd missed that the rumor is about her boss. That tips the scale for me to truth. - David Apr 25, 13:28
      - what was the reason given? -- nm - loosilu Apr 25, 13:27 17
        
        according to my wife? - groiny Apr 25, 13:28 16
        
        I find it hard to believe someone was let go for *an* issue. Unless she physically hurt a patient, it would take a number of things for that type of - zork Apr 25, 13:35 2
        
        a patient came to the office sedated on the wrong day.... - groiny Apr 25, 13:36 1
        
        I don't know the place but that doesn't sound huge to me. Maybe a warning. -- nm - zork Apr 25, 13:38
        
        did you believe her at the time or did you think there was more to it? -- nm - loosilu Apr 25, 13:31 3
        
        yes, I believe that she messed something up pretty significant at work - groiny Apr 25, 13:34 2
        
        might be better to wait a while, but you could have someone call there saying mrs.g is applying for a job and they are checking her work history. -- nm - zork Apr 25, 13:50 1
        
        Or do this for Person X, just for shits and giggles. -- nm - Beryllium Apr 25, 14:05
        
        How much is your wife like your brother-in-law in your estimation? -- nm - David Apr 25, 13:30 5
        
        not much. - groiny Apr 25, 13:32 4
        
        I worry not that your wife was having an affair inasmuch as I worry that your wife may have been in love. - David Apr 25, 13:34
        
        she was trying to hide debts though. - TFox Apr 25, 13:33 2
        
        There is also the decent person scenario where she did something to help her brother. -- nm - David Apr 25, 13:35 1
        
        true. -- nm - TFox Apr 25, 13:36
        
        "I have to fire you because you stole money, crazy bitch, but the sex is great so let's still jam" -- nm - oblique Apr 25, 13:30 2
        
        this is an odd post under the circumstances, kilbo. -- nm - TFox Apr 25, 13:31 1
        
        Not trying to be crass. Just saying that her getting fired may have zero bearing on a possible continued affar - oblique Apr 25, 13:32
- Well, we're taking her word that mrs. groiny is scrambling. nm - Dignan Apr 25, 13:23 3
  - this is why I'd love to see the records of calls/texts, etc. since this occured -- nm - oblique Apr 25, 13:27
  - which in itself would not be an admission of guilt. If someone posted a lie about me on a third party's wall, I'd go looking for them too. -- nm - loosilu Apr 25, 13:26
  - This is true and I think everyone here agrees that she seems shady in all facets. -- nm - David Apr 25, 13:24
Decide if there is anything you can hear from "bitch" or X that would restore your faith in your wife. If there isn't, then stop now. - TWuG Apr 25, 13:22 2
- There is no stopping now. nm - Dignan Apr 25, 13:27
- this post and your one on B2 are both good ones -- nm - zork Apr 25, 13:23
i'm liking my advice LIR even more -- nm - zeitgeist Apr 25, 13:20 1
- Jesus H, man. badadvicejeans.com nm - Dignan Apr 25, 13:22
i really would say "okay, if you know so much meet me tonight for a coffee and let's talk." - Andie Apr 25, 13:20
I would push that. "You said you had specific details. What are they?" -- nm - David Apr 25, 13:18

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also of note, the last message I got from the poster was ....

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