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In response to
"That's when people start dividing up the assets and personal effects. It's all related to possessions. Some for their monetary value, some for their "
by
jnine
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In my father's family, it was as much about family dynamics as it was about possessions.
Posted by
Roger More (aka RogerMore)
May 29 '12, 14:16
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Basically, my father was one of five children. The first two daughters and the eldest son (my dad) were all born close to each other. The younger pair were born some time after. They split along these lines after their mother died.
The oldest three felt that they were the ones who had the toughest time of it (eldest daughter, eldest son, etc), while the younger pair were babied by their mother.
When they were adults, the younger pair had a closer relationship with their mother than the older three did. The youngest son lived with his mother until he was well into his thirties, even after he was married. The youngest daughter lived around the corner, and was probably the biggest care-giver out of the five.
When the will came out, the assets (I believe) were divided evenly among the five children - only it turned out that the bulk of the assets were given to (or in the case of the house, sold to) the younger pair. So the remainder was split evenly, but it was a lot less than the older three were expecting.
Of course, there was huge resentment there between the two groups, but it had just as much to do with family dynamics going back to childhood as it did about money.
The older three felt the younger two were spoilt, just like they always had been, and that the whole thing had been done in an underhand way. The younger pair (I expect) felt entitled to a greater share because they were closer to their mother and looked after her in her later years.
None of this would have come to a head without Nana's death and the dividing up of the family assets. But the underlying causes were there for forty years.
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