ST Alpha - "boston.com Love Letters: She Doesn't Want People to Think We're Dating" (Reading a Post)

SlickerTalk
Search Archives
The Leaderboard
The FAQ

Down to Post

Backboards:

Posts: 156

boston.com Love Letters: She Doesn't Want People to Think We're Dating

Posted by Diva (aka Diva) Jul 11 '12, 12:42

There is a girl who I consider to be my closest friend in the world. Over the last three years we have spent a lot of time together and have had ups and downs in the friendship.

Last year I admitted to her that I had feelings for her, and unfortunately she didn't feel the same. We managed to work through it and now she's been in a relationship with a guy for a few months. I have been very supportive of her relationship and she and I are comfortable where we are as friends. We are certainly on the same page.

What I don't understand is why she gets uncomfortable and mad at me if people see us out in public and assume we are in a relationship. I tell her that it doesn't matter what people think. As long as we know what we are and aren't, that's all that matters. She doesn't feel that way. If someone assumes that we are dating, it really bothers her. However, it's not my fault what other people think, especially when I am not spreading false rumors that we are dating. I don't feel like I need to go up to everyone and tell them that we aren't dating. Instead of us laughing it off, it causes an argument between us. I care for her very much but I can't put up with this anymore.

� What should I do?

Responses:

She's insulted that people would assume she's dating you because she thinks you're not good enough for her... -- nm - Stephen Jul 11, 13:08
here is how i see this relationship - he would spend every moment with her, she seems him sometimes, as a friend, whenever she's got some time to kill - Andie Jul 11, 13:04 1
- she's probs getting people asking, "oh, where's LW?" when she's out alone or with dude. (this is my life.) it's not cool. -- nm - amanda Jul 11, 13:05
i.e. He's a butterface (male version) -- nm - Remlik Jul 11, 13:00
I say wait for her to break up with the boyfriend, bang her when she's upset and needs a shoulder...then tell her you don't want a relationship. - Jim Jul 11, 12:57 5
- wait, first bang her little sister. Then bang her after she gets dumped by the boyfriend. -- nm - decline Jul 11, 13:01 4
  - I don't think this guy wants to bang any chick. I think he wants to hold hands and talk about Jane Austen novels -- nm - CQ Jul 11, 13:04 2
    - oh 100%. -- nm - amanda Jul 11, 13:05
    - i think he's in love and hoping she'll 'see the light' someday. but won't even admit that to himself. - Andie Jul 11, 13:05
  - spoiler: She will never, ever bang the LW. -- nm - loosilu Jul 11, 13:03
All the below may be true, but that doesn't make her any less of a dick. -- nm - Max Jul 11, 12:56
get a life -- nm - decline Jul 11, 12:55
first of all, you talk like a chick. Dudes don't have ups and downs in relationships. dudes don't even have relationships - CQ Jul 11, 12:53
get a girlfriend. -- nm - loosilu Jul 11, 12:53
"Wake up the gimp." -- nm - David Jul 11, 12:52
you may think that she is comfortable being your friend, but a real friend wouldn't act like she does. -- nm - zork Jul 11, 12:51 7
- well, that might not be fair. she is in a relationship with someone else. maybe she doesn't want people thinking she's dating the Letter Writer - Andie Jul 11, 12:57 4
  - (also - you know he secretly loves people thinking they are a thing.) -- nm - Andie Jul 11, 12:58 3
    - this is kind of exactly my situation with... a friend of mine. it makes dudes hit on me less, so it's inconvenient. - amanda Jul 11, 13:04 1
      - I was about to post that you would probably have fun with it and even make it into a game. - zork Jul 11, 13:06
    - and, this. -- nm - znufrii Jul 11, 12:59
- no, I get it. -- nm - loosilu Jul 11, 12:56
- This -- nm - MDH Jul 11, 12:54
and you shoudl *definitely* go up to people and insist you're not dating, that *totally* works... -- nm - znufrii Jul 11, 12:50
maybe wear a collar and a leash, so everyone knows you're a pet? -- nm - Reagen Jul 11, 12:48 1
- *finger to nose* - Mel Profit Jul 11, 12:55
How hard is it to say, "I know, right? What an asshole!" when she complains about it. -- nm - Jim Jul 11, 12:45
Jeez, what a little bootlicker -- nm - amoxy Jul 11, 12:43
you're a moped. -- nm - znufrii Jul 11, 12:43 1
- "I thought it was because I'm fuel efficient." -- nm - Kim Pine Jul 11, 12:54
get some plastic surgery cause you must be fugly -- nm - Beaker Jul 11, 12:43
OFFS -- nm - Spawn Jul 11, 12:42

Post a message top

boston.com Love Letters: She Doesn't Want People to Think We're Dating

Replies are disabled on threads older than 7 days.