bonus hax chat question: can another miserable marriage be saved?
Posted by
pigby (aka chris)
Jan 30 '09, 11:43
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Bethesda, Md.: My husband and I have a seven-month-old son, whom we are crazy about. But seething resentment may ruin our marriage. I work a conventional schedule, and my husband's job takes him away from home about three days a week, sometimes weekends, sometimes during the week. My husband does his share with our son and (somewhat less so) around the house. I also pull my weight, but it feels like we both keeping score ALL the time. We've discussed this ad nauseum and tried to stop, but the conversations devolve into "I do as much or more than you" arguments. We're both exhausted, resentful and feeling alone. To give you an example, my husband may be home with our son all day. When I come in from work, my husband retreats to the computer, or puttering around, or possibly doing some housework, while I take care of our son for the rest of the night. There's almost a "I did this all day; you're on your own" vibe. I know I do the same to him sometimes. I feel like a terrible mother for not being enthused all the time to take care of our baby, especially since I'm at work all day and not with him. And I'm also irritated watching my husband surf the web while I'm feeding our son, there's a pile of dishes in the sink, loads of laundry to be done, mail to be sorted, etc., but my husband deserves a break too. How do we stop this cycle?
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