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boston.com Love Letters - Am I Moving Too Fast?

Posted by Deev Another Day (aka Diva) Nov 9 '12, 06:53

Q: Hi Meredith,

I've been dating a wonderful guy for only a few months now. We have so much -- almost too much -- in common, and are compatible on so many levels. I'm truly head over heels. I know he feels the same way because he treats me the way every single woman on this planet deserves to be treated. He does the little things, like put smiley faces in my cappuccino, but then the big things, like surprising me at my apartment after a bad day. Everything should be perfect, right?

Not so much. My sister was just married this past summer, and my brother will be getting married this coming spring. My brother is my best friend -- I talk to him almost daily, and we have a truly wonderful relationship. But he met my boyfriend not soon after we started dating -- as did my sister and parents. And when my boyfriend and I decided to take a short weekend trip recently, all hell broke loose.

In a nutshell, my mother gave me "the talk" (I'm 25 years old. A little late for that one, Ma ...) over e-mail, and since she can be so ridiculous sometimes, I told my brother. Rather than getting a good chuckle, he came back and very seriously stated that everyone thinks I'm rushing into this just because my siblings are getting married. I was obviously mad and didn't want to talk to him for days. Things have since been normal, but it's always in the back of my mind. I went on the trip because, frankly, I'm young enough to do spontaneous things like this, but old enough to calculate any negative repercussions. What it came down to was this: If we broke up, would I regret visiting this cool place where I've never been before? The answer, quite simply, was "no." So off we went.

I know myself enough to know that I'm not rushing into this just to get married. I've been on dates with guys -- some great, some not so great -- so I wouldn�t be dating my current boyfriend if I didn't want to. At the end of the day (I hate to say this in fear of sounding naive), I think I love him -- and we just told each other that.

I've communicated my thoughts briefly in conversations, but is it worth bringing it up in full force with my brother and family? My game plan was just to continue dating him and have them realize that he's a significant part of my life now. But do I need to do what I fear and grab the bull by the horns? Or is it true -- am I rushing into things?

� Wishing for Approval, MA

Responses:

One whole weekend with a boy! You should order an adult beverage at dinner too! Oh, the possibilities. I'm giddy just thinking about it -- nm - The Man With The Golden CQ Nov 9, 07:14
you're fine. your family needs to MYOB. -- nm - loosilu Nov 9, 07:03
she's 25, she went away with her boyfriend of a few months for a weekend, and her family is flipping? - Moneypandie Nov 9, 07:02 9
- I love that she's 25 and her mother just gave her 'The Talk'. -- nm - Deev Another Day Nov 9, 07:04 5
  - "a vagiwha? where is it? i can do what with it? with like anything? no? just penises? wait, not penises?" *headtilt* -- nm - TFox Nov 9, 07:07
  - "honey, if you go away with this boy, he might expect to take certain .... liberties... with you. - Moneypandie Nov 9, 07:06 3
    - *hands her an Emma Pillsbury from "Glee" pamplet that says 'It's Fine To Wait Until You're 35'* -- nm - That Mom si Nov 9, 07:09
    - 50 Shades of Grey? Wow, thanks for the book, Mom -- nm - Bacon Nov 9, 07:08 1
      - heh -- nm - Moneypandie Nov 9, 07:08
- If she wasn't such a slut this would be a problem. -- nm - ty97 Nov 9, 07:04 1
  - ik, r? -- nm - Rush si Nov 9, 07:05
- heh, you should have seen my mom flip when my sister did that at at 32. -- nm - loosilu Nov 9, 07:03
As long as you're sure you are not rushing into a commitment like marriage, party on Garthette. - ty97 Nov 9, 07:00
Sounds like someone just wanted to see her letter in the paper. What a ridiculous "problem". -- nm - Jim Nov 9, 06:59
tell them to step the eff off, it's none of their business. - znufrii Nov 9, 06:57
wait. wait. what? -- nm - amanda Nov 9, 06:55 6
- If you go with your boyfriend to London without a ring on your finger, you're obviously a psychopath. -- nm - TFox Nov 9, 06:57 5
  - only london? so I'm cool then as long as I stay domestic? -- nm - amanda Nov 9, 07:03 2
    - No one has ever questioned the appeal of foliage season. -- nm - TFox Nov 9, 07:04 1
      - "separate hotel rooms though, right?" -- nm - Moneypandie Nov 9, 07:05
  - but, if you have a ring on your finger, you only did it because your siblings got married and you didn't want to be left out. -- nm - Moneypandie Nov 9, 07:03 1
    - My interpretation: Siblings are a little too pleased with themselves. -- nm - loosilu Nov 9, 07:04

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boston.com Love Letters - Am I Moving Too Fast?

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