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oh woah, much better hax chat question: hubby continued to see and sleep with his ex three years into the marriage!

Posted by pigby (aka chris) Feb 6 '09, 12:00

Statute of Limitations? : Dear Carolyn,

I just found out my husband continued to date and sleep with his ex until our third anniversary. We have now been married ten years and have two children. For the past seven years, he has been faithful. Still, I don't know what to do with this new information. It seems too late to have the reaction I would have had at the time, but I feel very bothered and raw about this. Where does this leave me?

Responses:

Cut his nuts off. Not have him get a vasectomy. Cut his f--king nuts off! - Mr. Havens Feb 6, 12:11
Rusty nut cutters. -- nm - Mop Feb 6, 12:09
Let it slide. -- nm - Dr.Vermin Feb 6, 12:09 2
- seriously - I am asking you specifically - if Ms. Vermy came to you in 7 years and said - well.... - Epiphany Feb 6, 12:11 1
  - What consequences? This isn't a grudge match or tit-for-tat. It's a marriage with kids - oblique, eighth best slackertalker Feb 6, 12:12
She should make him totally earn her trust. She should also watch him like a hawk. If she wants to keep her marriage intact, they should both go to - Trish Feb 6, 12:08
too late to have the reaction she would have had? sorry, I killed your cat 3 years ago - you can't possibly be mad about it now - Epiphany Feb 6, 12:05
I wonder how that admission came out. If I found out my wife did that, her sh!t would be on the curb when she got home the next day. -- nm - JaxSean Feb 6, 12:03 9
- You would consider the relationship totally unsalvageable? -- nm - con_carne Feb 6, 12:07 4
  - It's not just about infidelity - it's about consistent deceit over a three-year period. It's hard for trust to recover, even if it's far in the past -- nm - Roger More Feb 6, 12:10 2
    - It's about consistent deceit over a ten-year period, actually. - znufrii Feb 6, 12:10 1
      - true enough, though I'd be more worried about the 3 years than the 7. By that stage it's not covering up, it's just not mentioning it -- nm - Roger More Feb 6, 12:12
  - I think that would be unforgivable for me. -- nm - JaxSean Feb 6, 12:08
- Yeah, as much as I'd want to do that. With kids...no way. I'd have to get over it. -- nm - oblique, eighth best slackertalker Feb 6, 12:05 3
  - Everything your marriage was built on was a lie. It's not a one time deal - it's 3 *years*. -- nm - JaxSean Feb 6, 12:07 2
    - really? your entire marriage was built on your partners fidelity? not on all times and moments you've shared and raising a family, etc? - Guy Feb 6, 12:19
    - Sorry. Can't do it. Assuming it isn't still occuring, I'd have to move past it. -- nm - oblique, eighth best slackertalker Feb 6, 12:10
"Why are you telling me this now?" -- nm - znufrii Feb 6, 12:03 1
- ...and he'd better have a damn good answer. -- nm - znufrii Feb 6, 12:06
How did she find out? If he told her, it's not that big a problem. - con_carne Feb 6, 12:03
How does she know he has been faithful? -- nm - amoxy Feb 6, 12:02 1
- "Why should I wear a condom even when I'm in a relationship?" This is what my friends ask me. I want to smack them. -- nm - Qale Feb 6, 12:05

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oh woah, much better hax chat question: hubby continued to see and sleep with his ex three years into the marriage!

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