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A friend came to visit me last night and listened and occupied my mind for a while. I slept a lot better last night too, thought still haven't eaten

anything but a little bit of soup in over a day. I may try to eat today. Appetite is still gone though.

I need to believe he's dead right now. That's the only way I can go on without a part of *myself* dying every second. He was my very best, most intimate friend. I miss him and I want him back. Still, if "dead," I will always remember the good times we had and treasure them forever.


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