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In response to
"She keeps trying to strike up idle conversation. I'm confused."
by
Mop
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Mop, honey...
Posted by
Trish (aka trisha)
Dec 23 '12, 17:41
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Over the years we've had our differences, but in the last few years, I've grown rather fond of you (don't get a big head, we've both changed a lot :) ).
I've been reading your posts about your soon-to-be-ex-wife and haven't really said anything, but now I'm gonna. I'm actually damn good at relationship stuff and I'm going to tell you straight, like I did amoxy several years ago.
1. This is NOT your fault. When she married you she knew you were into the touchy-feely stuff, but she wasn't--except to use you as a sperm doner. I'm not a big cuddler, but it makes Crash happy so I do, it's not a lot to give and I do like holding hands at movies. You did have much in common that you could talk about, until she disengaged.You tried it her way and as a result you're broken now. STOP blaming yourself.
2. She's a cold hearted bitch. I know she's the mother of your children, but it's the truth. As soon as you admit it to yourself, the battle is just about over.
3. The only reason she's online is that she's found someone else. Seriously, this is a new behavior and she's either found a man or woman that she's having a distance relationship with, or it's someone she works with or comes in contact with everyday. Considering her frigid behavior toward you, I'm inclined to believe it's a woman.
4. The only reason she's sending you nice messages is guilt. Yes, guilt. What's the guilt for, you ask? See number 3.
5. You didn't ask for this. You were content. She has shat all over you. She wants out of this marriage, fine. Let HER leave, there's no reason you should. There is no reason you should have to find a tiny little apartment and pay child support to a woman like this. As cold as she is toward you, I'd be willing to bet that she's also cold and distant from the children. As many times as you've been posting with a baby/child in your lap, or playing video games and feeding a baby at the same time, I get a feeling that you are the parent your children are emotionally attached to. Kids need physical contact. Which brings me to...
6. Tell her to go. You need to take physical custody of your children and live in your house. It won't be easy, but if you try for custody and give all the examples of her emotional coldness and talk about the years you were Mister Mom you stand a good chance of winning. You never know, she just might agree to it out of hand. I can't emphasize this strongly enough, YOU were not the one who wanted it over, SHE was. Get custody of your kids, keep your house, let her pay YOU child support. You're the better parent, so do it.
7. There's something kinda sexy about a single Daddy with kids. :)
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