boston.com Love Letters - He Doesn't Want Kids
Posted by
Diva (aka Diva)
Feb 6 '13, 07:27
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Hi Meredith and commenters,
My boyfriend and I have been together 9 years, since freshman year of college, and have been friends since middle school. He knows me better than anyone and he can make me laugh like no one else. I have so much fun with him and we're alike in so many ways -- all the ones that are important to me (physically active, love dogs, very laid back). We have everything in common. (Yes, maybe a consequence of basically growing up together. I can't image who I'd be without him.) But, he doesn't want kids. In fact, he is vehemently against kids (reasons of time, money, relationship stress). We had discussed this in the past but I was almost positive I didn�t want kids either -- until recently. I do.
Maybe he'll change his mind, but I feel like I can't really wait around and see. All I can do is go on what he's saying now, which he seems pretty passionate about. It literally makes my heart hurt when I think about him not being around. I've been thinking about this for like a year and I don't think I can hold it in much longer. But, it feels awful to even write, never mind saying it out loud. I'd be crying if I wasn't at work. I'm terrified, and I'm not even sure it would be the right decision. I don't even know if I'd regret not having kids (i.e., staying with him). I used to not even want them! And how do you break up with someone you are still in love with?
� Not Out of Love, Seattle
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Responses:
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does math... so he's all of like 27? i wouldn't say he's reached real "set in stone" age yet on this kind of shit. -- nm
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TFox
Feb 6, 07:35
2
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this one is a dealbreaker. -- nm
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loosilu
Feb 6, 07:34
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He will never change his mind. Either deal with the fact you won't have kids or move along.
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Bacon
Feb 6, 07:34
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Write down a list of pros and cons, have a three finger scotch, watch Overboard, and then make your decision -- nm
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CQ
Feb 6, 07:32
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9 years and not married????
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groiny
Feb 6, 07:31
5
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Have you told him you now want kids? -- nm
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amoxy
Feb 6, 07:31
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go ahead and get pregnant anyway. I'm sure he'll come around. -- nm
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znufrii
Feb 6, 07:30
2
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