boston.com Love Letters - I Haven't Met His Kids
Posted by
Diva (aka Diva)
Mar 29 '13, 09:02
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I am older, divorced for a few years, and in a wonderful new relationship. He and I have been together for five months now. We are in love and spend at least two evenings together with time on the weekend, too. He has been divorced for more than five years with three children between 16 and 20. I have a daughter who is 18.
Since getting together, I have introduced him to my friends and family and he has attended parties and get-togethers with them. He has spent time at my home in the presence of my daughter. She completely understands that he means a lot to me and is very welcoming and accepting of his time with me.
Conversely, it took quite some time for him to mention me at all to his family. I have yet to meet his parents or his children, by his choice. He says in a past relationship he did not introduce his girlfriend (of two years) to any other than his siblings, who I have met. It was my understanding that this was an issue about not upsetting his kids but I thought he would definitely come around. He has not.
He knows this upsets me greatly. The feeling of being on the sidelines, being an afterthought, it's horrible. He says his ex-wife has a boyfriend and he does not go to the family home, ever. I say that is all ridiculous and that it feels awful to be excluded from his life, especially as I have so readily, naturally, shared mine. He says she would make a huge fuss over it and cause discourse with the kids. I think he should man up and show his loved ones that there is a great woman in his life. He loves me and I love him. And I want to do everything I can to keep this relationship going.
What can I do? Give him an ultimatum? I've told him this is not any way anyone would want to be treated and that it is unacceptable to me. He says he doesn't want to rock the boat with his kids right now.
� On the Sidelines, Mass.
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