My last grandparent (grandfather) passed last night.. not sure how to feel. (a lot inside, proceed at your own risk)
Posted by
colin (aka colinski)
Apr 22 '13, 07:11
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This is a terrible eulogy and I can't say this to my family, but I feel like getting it out.
He had moments when we were children to be fun, playful, sometimes even nice to us, but he also had the knack for holding lifelong grudges. Each grandchild, one by one, would go from being his favorite for a short time to being treated as if they were beneath him and not worth his time. He did this to children.. 10, 12 years old.. without a real reason, just his whim.
He was a hateful man, a racist, an abusive father, and an alcoholic. He never cared much for his wife despite having 8 children with her and lived most of his life in a different room and eventually a different house. His most outstanding act as a father was to make up assault charges against his schizophrenic son to "get him help" and when it became apparent his son would not go to a hospital but to prison, he never changed his story. He went to court and allowed his son to go to prison over false charges.
I've seen him two times in the last 5 years. The first was to introduce my new wife. He barely said hello and ignored the both of us pointedly. The second time we saw him, he would not even say hello.
He almost died a year or two ago and said "Well, I'm about ready to go. Life's been good. Except for the people." I'm not saying he didn't have a rough life, but he also shut out everybody who was offering love unconditionally.
I feel sad for my family, for my parents, and for his children. I do not feel sad for him. I'm torn over this... I don't think I should, but it kind of feels wrong all the same.
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