ST Alpha - "So, who wants a real life, sort of HAX chat I can explain?" (Reading a Post)

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So, who wants a real life, sort of HAX chat I can explain?

Posted by MDH (aka MDH) May 2 '13, 07:30

So an acquaintance of mine (he's my friend's friend from college) is the center of this, let's call him Person A.

Person A has been in a long term relationship with his girlfriend since late 2009. They do not live together, but have been together for years, and were waiting until engagement to make that step. Last weekend they got engaged.

The now fiance does not know that her future husband is "bisexual." By that I mean, he has never dated a guy, but uses sites like manhunt/craigslist/etc to have sex with other guys. When asked about this (years/months ago and often) by some of his friends (inc. my friend) he said that he does not view this as cheating on the girlfriend/fiance because he is not f*cking anyone else. As long as he is only the bottom, he is the one "getting it" so it doesn't count.

SERIOUSLY. That was his response.

So everyone thought that this would stop once he got engaged. They were engaged last Friday, and Sunday he hooked up with a guy again. When asked, he said he has no intention of giving it up, and that the fiance need not know.

The fiance has no idea. How insane is this?

Responses:

Is it still Wednesday? -- nm - ceregon May 2, 08:11
This situation is really common on the straight spouse list (I dislike that name) I'm on. - Inigo May 2, 07:57 1
- honestly, I think it's worth losing the friendship. she needs to know. -- nm - loosilu May 2, 08:02
well buying their wedding present should be easy anyway *Buys huge dildo* - Beaker May 2, 07:57 4
- In a twist, all of his groomsmen are former tricks -- nm - ty97 May 2, 07:58 3
  - I went to a wedding once where the maid of honor was the on-the-side girlfriend of the bride. it was open bar. - amanda May 2, 08:00 1
    - For them. I'm sure it was entertaining as hell for everyone else. -- nm - pmb May 2, 08:03
  - Worst. Bachelor Party. Ever. -- nm - Spawn May 2, 07:58
that is insane. plus dishonest. and, all that aside, once they move in together, where is he going to say he is going? - Andie May 2, 07:52 10
- I fully agree with the IM. - ty97 May 2, 07:57 7
  - Exactly. This crosses every line there is, and must be dealt with. -- nm - Spawn May 2, 07:58 6
    - not *every* line - znufrii May 2, 08:00
    - not just morally, you have to assume she's being opened up to some disease risk as well. -- nm - colin May 2, 07:59 4
      - [deleted]
      - I would say "hopefully he's wise enough to use protection" - ty97 May 2, 08:00 1
        
        Well, the dudes never touch my junk, so it is clean. -- nm - Person A May 2, 08:01
      - this. -- nm - loosilu May 2, 08:00
- working late. -- nm - colin May 2, 07:55
- The gym. -- nm - Spawn May 2, 07:55
get a strap on and share that love! -- nm - colin May 2, 07:44
pineapple. If the fiance finds out and actually kills him, I would not convict her. -- nm - Spawn May 2, 07:43
In my head I'm creating the greatest version of the Pina Colada Song ever. -- nm - pmb May 2, 07:41
she needs to know. also, that rationalisation is *insane* -- nm - mafic May 2, 07:40 26
- it doesn't count if you didn't enjoy it. -- nm - colin May 2, 07:47
- By his definition, she has total freedom to sleep with whoever she wants. -- nm - pmb May 2, 07:44 20
  - I imagine you'd have to do some inverted mental gymnastics to make it ok. - mafic May 2, 07:47
  - Not really, unless it is a chick. -- nm - Spawn May 2, 07:45
  - [deleted] 17
    - Dawson is correct. His view is "men give, women take" so if she was having sex with another, she's cheating. - MDH May 2, 07:52 3
      - That's about as convenient a reasoning as I'd expect. -- nm - Roger More May 2, 08:01
      - He's making a gender switch in his definition then. Contractually speaking, I'm ruling in her favor. -- nm - pmb May 2, 07:55 1
        
        [deleted]
    - No, that would be the only way she's cheating. Otherwise she's "getting it" and therefore not cheating. -- nm - pmb May 2, 07:47 11
      - Uh, flip that and reverse it. -- nm - Spawn May 2, 07:48 10
        
        No. His point was that since he's "getting it" and not "giving it" (i.e. he's the bottom), he's not cheating. - pmb May 2, 07:54 9
        
        No, if she gets screwed, she's cheating, b/c only he should be the only one doing that to her. -- nm - MDH May 2, 07:55 5
        
        Exactly. I am amazed there is a debate here. -- nm - Spawn May 2, 07:57 4
        
        I don't want to get into a stupid semantic debate (but what the hell, this is ST), but you guys are reading in something not stated. - pmb May 2, 08:01 3
        
        ... are you Person A's attorney? Because that is the only person that would really think that. -- nm - Spawn May 2, 08:05
        
        [deleted]
        
        [deleted]
        
        No. He screws her. She is cheating if someone else screws her. See? -- nm - Spawn May 2, 07:55 2
        
        That wasn't stated in the terms of the deal. Court rules in her favor. -- nm - pmb May 2, 07:56 1
        
        Okay, if he was with another girl, it would be cheating. So if she was with another guy, it would be cheating. Court over-ruled. -- nm - Spawn May 2, 08:03
    - or lesbian -- nm - tRuMaN May 2, 07:46
- Was it one of Dawson's friends that insisted they were virgin because they had always used condoms? -- nm - ty97 May 2, 07:43 3
  - [deleted]
  - don't forget "just one pump." -- nm - mafic May 2, 07:44 1
    - just the tip -- nm - Beaker May 2, 07:46
[deleted]
*facepalm* This is gonna get ugly one way or another. -- nm - Jelly May 2, 07:35
Someone needs to tell her. -- nm - ty97 May 2, 07:32
yeah, that will end well. -- nm - znufrii May 2, 07:32

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So, who wants a real life, sort of HAX chat I can explain?

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