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dear prudence (sitwap): I Killed A Man in Self Defense and Now Folks are Giving Me the Blues

A History of Violence:

Some three decades ago, I killed a man. He had broken into my home, armed; we struggled, he died. It was clearly self-defense and, frankly, I have no regrets or remorse. A few months ago, my wife's brother did an idle Google search and discovered a report on the incident, which he's shared widely in the family. He's also taken to calling me "Killer." Normally, I'd be amused but some friends and family have reacted quite negatively, with one breaking all ties, another telling my wife that they'd rather not have me around their children, and a couple seemingly eager to either psychoanalyze me or get the gruesome details. How do I get people to understand that I am not interested in dredging up the past and that something that happened long ago has very little bearing on who I am today? I'd happily write off the rude and the stupid but these people are important to my wife.


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