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so jamie and I are fighting about something. I'd love your take on this.

Posted by the ides of march love mandy lane (aka amanda) Feb 19 '09, 07:47

I have a classmate who refuses to communicate via any means but text. I know this about her.

sunday night, I rang her, got her voicemail, and offered to help her with her resume. I said "since we're scheduling, this is a better conversation to have via voice, so ring me back when you can." she paged back two minutes later saying "got ur vm. where r u?"

totally unacceptable spelling, one, and two, way to follow directions.

I didn't reply.

I do know, though, that the best way to call her to action is via text message. so this morning, I text messaged her "need to talk to you via email. in class so can't talk via text. email me when you are in front of a computer."

she replied via text message: "whatcha need?"

I feel like the instructions were very clear and that there is no excuse for having responded via text.

jamie says I am overreacting.

what do you think? (note: there's another part to this story.)

Responses:

[deleted]
I'd be just as obstinate with my own chosen method of communication. like if she texts, call back and leave a voicemail. - mafic Feb 19, 08:02 3
- sms-speak is reality now. -- nm - loosilu Feb 19, 08:08 1
  - for idiots who don't know any better. -- nm - mafic Feb 19, 08:13
- we will lemon donut cake at the wedding of our respective outrages (they're totally compatible). -- nm - the ides of march love mandy lane Feb 19, 08:05
She has twice failed to follow instructions, but you also didn't threaten any consequence for her failure. I would - landbeck Feb 19, 08:00 1
- not following instructions? punitive measure? It's a classmate, not her child. - CrankYanker Feb 19, 08:03
I'd be irritatated. -- nm - Remlik Feb 19, 07:59
i would end communications until she contacts you via email or phone. she's not following instructions, which is a skill she should be learning. - Andie Feb 19, 07:59 1
- (ps: if she had replied something like 'not at computer, can't phone here, will do later', i would understand, but, she didn't. -- nm - Andie Feb 19, 08:01
I agree with mandy. -- nm - tRuMaN Feb 19, 07:58
How she communicates with you is her choice, but how much you help her on her resume is your choice. - Roger More Feb 19, 07:57 1
- *ding* -- nm - CrankYanker Feb 19, 07:59
She is not using her common sense. Not everyone can afford to be texting 24/7 -- nm - con_carne Feb 19, 07:54
she's proving to be pretty functionally useless as an adult. It's her resume, no skin off your back if she doesn't get it done. -- nm - Will Hunting Feb 19, 07:54 1
- word -- nm - Beaker Feb 19, 07:56
it's a2noying a$ sh!t, K? - Jammed Uzi Feb 19, 07:53
If you're offering to help her, and she can't do the simple courtesy of responding using grownup methods, I'd just lose interest in helping, probably. -- nm - TFox Feb 19, 07:53 11
- hear hear ! -- nm - Jammed Uzi Feb 19, 07:54 9
  - the second part of this equation is that the thing about which I paged her this morning is - the ides of march love mandy lane Feb 19, 08:01 8
    - I suggest you tell her you have a job lead & you think she would be a good candidate, and that you'd like to discuss it on email before making a... - Roger More Feb 19, 08:06 2
      - If you tell her what it is, you're almost honor-bound to then go forward regardless. - Will Hunting Feb 19, 08:07 1
        
        OK - but at the moment the texter doesn't have a clear idea of the situation, and that's what I would want to give her before deciding whether or not - Roger More Feb 19, 08:12
    - I'd tell her that you have a VIP thing you have to discuss with her; that can only be done by email. If she fails to get back, you've done your duty. - Will Hunting Feb 19, 08:04
    - sounds like you're not being consistent, though. you're doing some stuff by text. -- nm - loosilu Feb 19, 08:02 3
      - I told her via text that I needed to talk to her via email. I was notifying her via text that I had something to discuss via email - the ides of march love mandy lane Feb 19, 08:04 2
        
        I still think an important part of communicating is to convey the scope of consequence. YGMing someone about an issue that's private (yet trivial) is - landbeck Feb 19, 08:10
        
        I see. then I agree with the majority. -- nm - loosilu Feb 19, 08:05
- Agree completely. -- nm - MDH Feb 19, 07:53
I hate that. I'd be annoyed too. What about just sending her an e-mail and ignoring texts from her? - Subversive Feb 19, 07:53
she sounds like a Ditz but I'd still make her conform to the requests - Epiphany Feb 19, 07:52 1
- if you don't want her to text, don't answer. if that's the only way she can communicate, and you don't like it, you can't be friends. -- nm - loosilu Feb 19, 07:53
yeah, I'd be pretty annoyed too. -- nm - Callisto Feb 19, 07:52
I don't think you are overacting. She's being lazy. -- nm - lileve Feb 19, 07:51
It's annoying, but doesn't seem like too big a deal. You're not harmed by her choice, just slightly inconvenienced. - pmb Feb 19, 07:50 4
- since the general consensus is that I'm being irrational about the response, I won't ask the second part. thanks! - the ides of march love mandy lane Feb 19, 07:54 3
  - Yeah, really annoying. And let me add, that I think a completely appropriate response from you would be "I can't get into by text. Let's take it to - pmb Feb 19, 08:01
  - I don't think you're being irrational at all. -- nm - Inigo Feb 19, 07:59
  - yeah, that's a text I'd ignore. -- nm - loosilu Feb 19, 07:55
that's too effin frustrating. I'd be pissed -- nm - CQ Feb 19, 07:49 3
- seriously, how effin hard is it to make an effin phone call? She's using the same damn device! wtf? -- nm - CQ Feb 19, 07:59 2
  - simple, she could be in a place (like in class) where she can't talk. -- nm - loosilu Feb 19, 08:03 1
    - how about after class? -- nm - CQ Feb 19, 08:05
I wouldn't help until you get a call or VM, tell her to call you or you cannot help -- nm - MDH Feb 19, 07:49
[deleted]
overreacting -- nm - nubby Feb 19, 07:48 2
- sorry, i wrote this on the way out the door. - nubby Feb 19, 07:57
- way overreacting over spelling. that's a lost cause. -- nm - loosilu Feb 19, 07:51
sounds like you can't be friends. -- nm - loosilu Feb 19, 07:47

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so jamie and I are fighting about something. I'd love your take on this.

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