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In response to
"So what is the scariest wedding you have performed? -- nm"
by
amoxy
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a country redneck wedding with a drunken preacher brother, the kind that gospels while downing an entire bottle of jack in minutes, califlower eyebrow
Posted by
zeitgeist
Sep 2 '13, 15:39
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and an impossibly crooked nose from far too many fights and/or kissing concrete.
the kind of bible banging drunk that would start out preaching goodwill towards men the first 1/3rd of the bottle, *you* sinners are going to HELL towards the bottom and apparently starts taking marching orders from Satan when he licks the last drops which was when a couple other brothers held him down and told him to sleep it off in the corner of the deck.
Now I was doing this wedding at a trailer that was cantilevered over an arroyo, and the deck where I and the wedding party hid where the drunk was collapsed in the corner but I could see him, and when he woke up could see me and get to remembering how they hired ME instead of letting him do the wedding and began to give me the stink eye. and as I was winding things up I could see him flexing his fists and getting edgy so I started backing dow nteh steps and by the time pronounced I was halfway back through the seated guests and they were kissing when I reached my car, I was just starting backing out when someone yelled
YOU DIDn'T INTRO DUCE THE NEW COUPLE
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