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bonus prudie: Wedding Invites Question (uh-oh...)

I'm getting married next August in a small, private ceremony and having an intimate reception with about 50 people. My problem is what to do about my father. He and my mother split up three years ago because he was having an emotional and physical affair with a married co-worker. I have not met this woman and have no desire to, especially whereas my mother is still so hurt by the affair and can't even bring herself to refer to my father by anything other than “him” or “he.” I don't see my father frequently. Maybe once every couple of months or so. Would it be acceptable to invite him to the small ceremony at city hall being attended by JUST family? Or do I have to invite him to the reception as well, where he'd likely have no one to talk to, and would upset my mother?

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