Hi (TMI post and maybe long)
Posted by
amoxy (aka amoxy)
Dec 22 '13, 15:46
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Sorry I never contacted anyone, but I was in the hospital for the past two weeks.
First week was in the main Hospital and this week was at the Behavioral Health ward from a failed Suicide attempt. Some of you know I have had mental health issues in the past and a few know that this was my second attempt (back in 2010).
I have been battling depression for most of my life and was able to handle it. When I was married, had a good job, kids were younger, and had a decent social life.
But it got the better of me on Tuesday the 10th. I took a lot of Tylenol. FYI, don't ever attempt suicide this way, my Doc said it is one of the worst ways to go. So they had to detox my liver (I am not allowed to drink for a long time if ever). It seems to be working OK right now.
I was then sent to Behavioral Health side to fix my brain.
And this time, I think they got it right. Last time we just treated the depression and not the underlying cause. The Doc came up with the diagnosis of Bi-Polar and also ADHD. Probably been battling both most of my adult life. The Lithium for Bi-Polar is a godsend. I don't have too many maniac episodes, but the depression side drains me to no end. My mood level is stable for the first time in a long time. And the Ritalin has stopped the "Runaway Train" of thoughts and has allowed me to focus. I feel really hopeful (even though I have a ton of hard things to do).
I am home now with a happy cat sitting on my lap. I have follow up outpatient treatment and a couple of support groups to continue my treatment.
I have some work to repair my relationship with my kids, because I hurt them bad.
Now comes the tough part. I have to take a break from ST. You guys are all so wonderful and supportive, but I get sucked into this place instead of making connections in the real world. I would like to shut off the internet completely, but since I am searching another job (I quit my job 3 days before the Suicide attempt), I need to at least have email. But ST, Facebook, FBG, Reddit many other sites will be off for a least two months. I will close down ST after posting this. Otherwise I will see the responses start to reply and I can't. But you can always reach me at [email protected]
I am still planning on going to Vegas, just not sure how right now.
And my Secret Stalkee, I'm sorry it will be a little late but I will get it to you ASAP.
I love you all and if you get a chance, say a little prayer or send good thoughts my way.
Take Care and I will be back
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Responses:
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I'm glad you let us know what's up. We were worried about you before. Now we can change that to hopeful and concerned.
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Qale
Dec 22, 17:43
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So sorry you're having to deal with this, we will keep you in our thoughts and prayers. -- nm
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IrishStephen
Dec 22, 16:58
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Good luck on the next chunk of your life coming up. Know you have a big ole cheerleader squad pulling for you. -- nm
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Name Withheld By Request
Dec 22, 16:53
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Nothing but good thoughts for you. Let us know if we can help in any way. -- nm
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ty97
Dec 22, 16:26
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You one of the people I cherish most from this place...
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Mel Profit
Dec 22, 16:24
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Love you so much. See you soon. -- nm
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Epiphany
Dec 22, 16:21
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do what you gotta do roomie! take care and best wishes. -- nm
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Remlik
Dec 22, 16:20
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Best Wishes. Do what you need for yourself but remember we're here if/when you're ready. -- nm
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Dano
Dec 22, 16:18
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(((((hugs)))) -- nm
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zeitgeist
Dec 22, 16:08
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We love you. -- nm
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elf kelly
Dec 22, 16:08
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Much love and good and healthy thoughts to you my friend.
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Krusty
Dec 22, 16:07
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Take care of yourself. -- nm
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Roger More
Dec 22, 16:06
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stay well brother -- nm
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Jovian
Dec 22, 16:04
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Yikes. Good luck and get well pal. In a few months when you read this, know that we love ya! -- nm
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JaxSean
Dec 22, 16:02
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Get well my friend and have a good holiday
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eag
Dec 22, 16:01
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take care of yourself, amoxy ... I didn't know some of this about you. thank you for sharing ... also, ...
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i'm not the ghost of Christmas past yet !
Dec 22, 16:00
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Be well, dammit!
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TWuG
Dec 22, 15:54
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prayers and good thoughts both ... this message shows you are a strong man - you can handle this and have many friends ready to help in anyway
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JenBro
Dec 22, 15:53
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you gotta look out for number one. -- nm
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Reagen
Dec 22, 15:52
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So, so sorry. -- nm
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Spawn
Dec 22, 15:50
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Love you buddy! Fight Fight Fight! *hugs*
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Bacon
Dec 22, 15:49
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all the best dude, need anything all you have to do is ask. -- nm
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Beaker
Dec 22, 15:49
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Good thoughts and prayers...Glad to hear from ya...merry xmas -- nm
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budice
Dec 22, 15:48
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