prudie's reponse to 'Girls Night Out'...(closely resembles mara's response)
Posted by
Diva (aka Diva)
Dec 23 '13, 09:47
|
In an ascending list of ways to torture a man, somewhere above the rack and cattle prod would probably lie the prospect of attending the festive get-together of seven girlfriends, especially when on the agenda is exciting news (engagement ring, positive pregnancy test!) sure to get the gang squealing. Yes, it’s bizarre that this young husband wants to bust your gender barrier. It is also simply rude for one person who’s part of an established group to invite an outsider without getting the OK first from the others. This reunion was difficult to arrange, so I don’t see why one husband should be allowed to put a damper on the night. See if the person closest to your friend with the stalker spouse can get back on the phone with her. The caller should explain that a get-together with everyone’s significant others would be fun sometime, but this isn’t the time. Maybe she could even ask to talk to the husband and explain there’s no plan to single him out by excluding him: The plan is to exclude all males. If your friend is adamant that she won’t come without him, then she should be told that you’ll all miss her. But please don’t just let this go. The marriage you’re describing is disturbing. It may be that your friend is in some kind of folie à deux and both she and her spouse mutually keep an insanely tight leash on each other. But controlling his wife’s access to friends is a sign of abuse. After the holidays, if any of your group lives in the same city as your friend, one or two of you should try to get her alone—maybe she’s allowed to have lunch?—and talk to her about this. The people who do this can then gently but firmly state they are concerned that she’s no longer allowed to do such normal things as getting together with girlfriends. They should be prepared that she’ll be defensive, but nevertheless should tell her they are there for her if she feels worried or trapped. They could also bring her a belated Christmas gift she might have to read at the office: a copy of 'The Emotionally Abusive Relationship' by Beverly Engel.
|
Responses:
|