boston.com Love Letters - I Can't Trust Him Anymore
Posted by
Diva (aka Diva)
Jan 2 '14, 09:54
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Dear Meredith,
My boyfriend and I have been dating for about nine months now and everything seemed perfect until recently. I found out he was communicating with women from his past and then lying to me about it. He was going through his messages on Facebook as I was sitting next to him, and I saw the conversation between him and someone he went out on a date with, saying he wonders what it would of been like to be with her in a sexual way. After that, my trust in him pretty much no longer existed.
Because of this, I found myself going through his email when he wasn't in the room. I know this is totally wrong, but I felt like when I asked him questions, I never got an honest answer and that was the only way to get answers. In going through his email, I found topless pictures from only a few days before of a woman he has been friends with for a long time. When I confessed to looking in his email and confronted him about it, he felt embarrassed and guilty and said it was totally crossing the line but that it was done as a joke and she has always done stuff like that when he has had a girlfriend. He agreed that it was wrong and was sorry and promised not to do it again. But how can I believe this?
Also in his email I found emails from pornography websites, which doesn't bother me, but also porn chat room websites, which does bother me because it is more personal. I also found pictures he emailed himself from Facebook of women I don't know, some I do know, and one of his ex. I also found a receipt for a mini spy camera. Seeing this totally sickened me. What could he be using it for? I haven't told him I saw this yet.
I thought he was "the one" until seeing all of this stuff, and whenever I approach him about it he says I have to trust him at least a little bit. He always acknowledges what he does is wrong but keeps on doing it. I just don't know if I am being too easy on him because I know this behavior isn't acceptable. I feel torn about what to do because I really see a future with him and love him but can't get past these things and do not know how or if I can trust him.
– Depressed, NJ
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Responses:
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My guess is they're both very young. Like early 20s. -- nm
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Inigo
Jan 2, 10:16
2
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I'm sure it'll be fine. Stay with him. -- nm
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David
Jan 2, 10:12
1
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OFFS -- nm
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pippy bells
Jan 2, 10:11
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and I wish my ex-girlfriends and girl friends sent me topless pictures of themselves as a joke -- nm
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Jovian
Jan 2, 10:08
1
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Dear idiot chick in NJ
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Jovian
Jan 2, 10:07
2
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DTMFA -- nm
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JD
Jan 2, 10:03
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you're absolutely right, you can't trust him, so, what's your question? -- nm
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znufrii
Jan 2, 10:00
1
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Do not walk.
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Spawn
Jan 2, 09:59
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Run. -- nm
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Mop (200 lbs)
Jan 2, 09:59
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Maybe if you sent him some nekkid photos, he'd stop looking at other chicks. nm
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Jim
Jan 2, 09:58
- [deleted]
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