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Guys, I know it's been a while since a new episode of The Stephen Show has aired, but boy, is this one a doozy! I've just been offered a job...

Posted by IrishStephen (Master of The Filthy Jockstrap) (aka Sceire) Jan 17 '14, 10:49

to run someone's exploratory Presidential committee...

Let that sink in for a second.

Ok? Ok, here's the back story.

So as you all know my former boss, and friend, suffered a massive heart attack over a year ago, and he actually died, and was brought back to life, was in a coma, etc., etc. Well, he recently started suffering seizures, which his doctor is telling him are a direct result of the loss of oxygen to his brain for however many minutes he was clinically dead. Oh, and he's recently started detoxing (cold turkey) off the various heavy pain meds he's been taking for 20 or 30 years. He was doing pretty good, health wise until about a week and a half ago. We talked the day after Christmas, and he was fine. We talked after New Years, and he was fine.

Then, we talked last Friday, and, well, he wasn't fine. He told me he had started suffering seizures. As a result of this, he believed his son (who's at home on school break) had taken the keys to his car so he couldn't drive (since he's not supposed to...) and hidden them from him; it was actually his g/f who had taken and hidden them (yes, they're still together). As a result of this, he started yelling at his son, on the street in front of where he lives, stating that if the son didn't give the keys back to him then he'd smash the windshield of the son's car so he couldn't drive either. The son didn't have the keys, and wouldn't have given them back even if he did, so... the son's car now has a smashed in windshield, and my friend has, in his own words, disowned his son.

Here's where it gets weirder. My friend has come to believe that there's a reason why he's still alive, that God's has a plan for him. The reason? Well, he has a message of peace and love for the world. He sees himself as a modern day Jesus, or Gandhi (his actual words). And, the best way for him to spread this word is to run for the presidency. And, he believes that he can win, so long as he's not assassinated by the corporations. After about a half an hour of this all I could do was say "well, that's interesting" and make an excuse to get off the phone, because really, what do you say to that?

Then, on Sunday, his g/f texted me saying he was in a lot of pain and needed to go to the doctors but she couldn't take him because she couldn't miss work, and obviously the son was out of the picture. So, I called him Sunday night and told him i'd come down early Monday and take him to the doctor's. He asked if i'd also be able to do a quick document for him in one of the few cases he still has (which he's now been substituted out of) and I said sure, but my main reason for coming down was to get him to the doctor's.

So, Monday morning I get there at 8, which means I was up and out the door by 5:30 in the morning. I get there, and... well, apparently, without any pain medication to rely on he's been ingesting marijuana, and through Sunday night to Monday morning when I got there he'd ingested quite a lot. He was stoned. Completely. He couldn't remember where his notes were for the work he wanted me to do were (I spent two hours looking for it without finding it), and by the time he finally came down I had to leave anyway. Oh, and he'd never even made a doctor's appointment.

So, flash forward to this morning, and he calls as i'm just getting up, but I let it go to voice mail. In the voice mail he tells me he wants to hire me back, part time, to help him type/write his book outlining his thoughts and beliefs and message of love and peace for the world. Oh, and he want's to hire me on as his campaign manager to run his bid for the Democratic presidential nomination in '16. He has a list of possible contributors he wants me to start calling, which such list includes LeBron James and Dwayne Wade. He wants me to start today. To start cold calling celebrities for campaign donations. For the presidency.

I want to laugh. I want to cry. I want to help my friend. I want to stay as far away from him as possible. What in the hell do I do?

Responses:

obviously the front runner of the tea party coming into Iowa -- nm - zeitgeist Jan 17, 13:59
I wish him all the best, but I sure hope Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. doesn't take this turn. -- nm - Max Jan 17, 10:59
Form a committee. Znufrii! -- nm - con_carne Jan 17, 10:57
I, for one, would have a kegger. -- nm - CQ Jan 17, 10:56
that is actually quite tragic. -- nm - Andie Jan 17, 10:55 3
- It is, and I have no idea what to do. I can't be the one to tell him that this is "crazy," right? - IrishStephen (Master of The Filthy Jockstrap) Jan 17, 11:00 1
  - i think you have to treat it like a serious offer (to him) and tell him as flattered as you are, you can't possibly take that on right now. -- nm - Andie Jan 17, 11:02
- Absolutely this. -- nm - Beryllium Jan 17, 10:56
Well, first you need to establish a ground game in New Hampshire and Iowa. -- nm - Ender Jan 17, 10:53
I think the best part of this is that you could be the campaign manager for our next Democrat President. WOO HOO!!! -- nm - Jim Jan 17, 10:53
change your phone numbers. nm -- nm - groiny Jan 17, 10:52 1
- Jesus himself calls me at 5:30 in the morning, he will have some explainin to do. nm -- nm - groiny Jan 17, 10:55
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Guys, I know it's been a while since a new episode of The Stephen Show has aired, but boy, is this one a doozy! I've just been offered a job...

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