ST Alpha - "random mini rant - feel free to ignore" (Reading a Post)

SlickerTalk
Search Archives
The Leaderboard
The FAQ

Down to Post

Backboards:

Posts: 159

random mini rant - feel free to ignore

Posted by Andie Mar 31 '14, 06:59

Dave's mom is over 90 and starting to get paranoid and confused over her money. she never handled it in the first place and she just can't keep things straight. which is fine. Dave's SIL appointed herself the caretaker of all things financial and administrative for Dave's mom a few years ago, which was fine and there was nothing to worry about in terms of trusting them to do this. But, whenever we tried to understand the system they had set up for money in / money out, GIC rates etc, we got the most unclear responses and eventually just sort of gave up and reviewed things periodically to make sure it was all good.

which brings us to now.

As i said, his mom is getting confused and she thought that some money was missing from an account a few weeks ago (she was looking at a zero balance credit card statement - you can see how confused she is.) We explained it, and she seemed okay. But then she turned around and asked his SIL and brother the same question. For some reason the SIL decided this was a personal attack and that she was being accused of theft, blah blah blah.

yesterday we met them at his mother's residence and the SIL basically handed us over a stack of paper that covered most of the accounts, but not all. And told us that we were handling it now.

which is fine, i wanted to do it all along, i am actually way better at this stuff than they are.

but! she wouldn't give us the online banking info because it is tied to theirs. and insists that a couple monthly statements still get mailed to them so they can make sure nothing is amiss.

so now, we/i are supposed to be completely in charge of the money (and his brother with Downs that is a group home, that got handed to us too.) but we aren't being given the granular information to assess the big picture.

this is going to drive me crazy

(there is no way anyone read to the end of this.)

Responses:

sounds like the SIL has done a larger share of the caretaking and is resentful, and deserving of whatever she spent -- nm - zeitgeist Mar 31, 13:07
Stand on all or nothing. Sorry. -- nm - Spawn Lord Mar 31, 07:38
that sucks -- nm - Roger More Mar 31, 07:10
"this is going to drive me crazy" I read to the end. I don't suppose karate chopping the SIL in the throat is an option here? nm - Jim Mar 31, 07:05 6
- it is amazing how the vultures come out when it comes to handling money. nm -- nm - groiny Mar 31, 07:05 5
  - the thing is, no-one involved is using the money, no-one wants to touch it. they are just making the handling of it all way harder than it has to be. - Andie Mar 31, 07:09 4
    - this kind of thing tore my dad's family apart. 4 brothers, 1 sister, demolished. - groiny Mar 31, 07:10 3
      - we have tried for years to have bank cards set up for each account, and to have those numbers available to both brothers - Andie Mar 31, 07:13 2
        
        maybe she is a good one then, but I have seen and heard way too many bad stories when it comes - groiny Mar 31, 07:14 1
        
        oh, yeah, but the other thing, she wouldn't hand it all to us if there anything missing. -- nm - Andie Mar 31, 07:17
Time for them to visit the bank and separate the account. - kelly Mar 31, 07:03 5
- the thing is Dave's siblings are so much older than him, and he's older than me. The SIL is like, 70. - Andie Mar 31, 07:06 4
  - but you literally can't do it without all of the info right? I mean how will you know what $$ you are even working with - Epiphany Mar 31, 07:09 3
    - exactly. -- nm - Andie Mar 31, 07:09 2
      - someone with half a brain would move it all to one place, hopefully the one with the best rate. nm -- nm - groiny Mar 31, 07:15 1
        
        well, i am okay with two accounts. all money in goes into the savings with the good interest, and a smaller balance is - Andie Mar 31, 07:17
I read it! I don't really have any advice even though we went through the same thing with my wife's family. And it's still causing resentments. - spamlet Mar 31, 07:03 4
- we actually already have a POA. we will have to do this, but it's going to be a pain. -- nm - Andie Mar 31, 07:07 3
  - Well, that's at least a step in the right direction. - spamlet Mar 31, 07:10 2
    - In Soviet Andie, advice gives you -- nm - con_carne Mar 31, 07:22
    - no, help is good! truly. -- nm - Andie Mar 31, 07:11
Welcome to my world. - Strongbad Mar 31, 07:02 1
- :( -- nm - Andie Mar 31, 07:28
Have you thought about getting POA? -- nm - Reagen Mar 31, 07:01 4
- we have one. There are way too many accounts in general. Dave can co-sign on one, his brother on another. 2 GICs. An old savings account that was - Andie Mar 31, 07:11 3
  - Is GIC like a Certificate of Deposit (sorry to go off on a tangent here)? -- nm - con_carne Mar 31, 07:19 1
    - Guaranteed Interest. You lock the money in for various terms and get a guaranteed rate. Usually higher than other bank interest rates. -- nm - Andie Mar 31, 07:21
  - ugh -- nm - Epiphany Mar 31, 07:12

Post a message top

random mini rant - feel free to ignore

Replies are disabled on threads older than 7 days.