ST Alpha - "Ok. New thread. Cause it is all about me. Same topic but some details on my reactions and just more details" (Reading a Post)

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Ok. New thread. Cause it is all about me. Same topic but some details on my reactions and just more details

Posted by JD (aka Jason Dean) May 26 '14, 11:04

This is all very recent. On Thursday, Veronica went up to LA to meet up with an old friend, perhaps her best friend who was in town on work basis. They're going to dinner with their common friends and then Veronica's going to share a room with her friend as the plan is catch up, drink and generally a late night. This is the one who moved to Dallas a couple of years back. She was supposed to spend the weekend with us but I get call while at work on Friday that there's a change of plans and that's not happening.

So ty is correct and when she get home Friday we do have the talk. I think I was supposed to flip out or something but check this out fantastic level of denial. I'm taking it all in and for some reason it is seems better to me that it is Heather than say a Hank. And because of that, I get the brilliant idea (maybe I watch too many bad movies or something) that maybe we can share. Granted that was an extension of Veronica proclaiming that I've always been her best friend and she's not sure what would happen without that.

My reaction at that moment was one I think I did more comforting than being, well being anything, as I wasn't being anything.

Reading ST's take on events is enlightening as while I know what happened I hadn't thought of them in that way. After a rather awkward pause while I cooked some dinner and it was very bizarrely status quo for a bit, she received a call from Heather. Went outside to take the call and then eventually did leave. She did ask me if it was ok and I've no idea if she would have stayed if I'd said no.

Then the drinking binge, short blackout and then up all night. Oh and to my minor defense that I'm not a complete saint, when I was up all night, it dawned my that while she took her phone, I bet her iPad is here. It was and you know that whole parallel iMessage thing across all one's devices. Yeah that.

So I was able to read that as I wasn't really doing anything out of the ordinary that she was headed down. Reading further back they really, really are into each other. I found messages to another friend proclaiming that it was freaking her out that how could this happen after so many years and she was in love in a way that she never knew she was missing.

Yeah so at four in the morning I sent her a message that I am an idiot and that while I love her and I can't do the way she deserves.

As well in reading all of that I realized that I really was an idiot with my initial reactions.

So she calls me at 8 in the morning having woken up to my text. I'm walking back from my lame attempt at going running and the call runs well over an hour. Probably lengthed by the fact that I was using a vodka as my post exercise recovery drink. Ice cubes in a pint glass, fill with vodka. Classy, I know.

As opposed to how we had left things the previous evening, I had come to the correct conclusion that we are done. So if goes along like that. I made the offer to be there when she tells her Mom but she thought that wasn't necessary. We also laughed about the fact that my mother will probably be thrilled as that's been a very cordial on the surface Asian mother in law relationship but while my mother never says anything to me about it, Veronica's convinced there's real hatred there and she's probably correct.

Called my friend from work as I knew that he was up to speed (well he got about a couple hours head start on me from the messages so he's pretty much at the same level of time to process)

Ran into the nieghbors in our courtyard and told them that things were still unfolding but it was very possible that I would be around much less as things were ending between Veronica and I. They're barely more than acquaintances but that helped.

And then out drinking at the bar

So thank you ST for being my place to share

Oh....

I can't explain but I don't feel cheated on. I mean yes I was but it some how feels like that was just a necessary detail of the bigger issue

That sleepless Friday night/ Early sat morning. I couldn't get angry. Still can't

I think I'm wired differently or something. Veronica and I have differed on this and I don't think I've really even looked close enough at another to even consider an affair as I knew it would be unpardonable.

Me on the other hand, we went through this once before and I only asked to be filled in on the details.

and there's always what I am now referring as to Reason Zero that I seem ok with this and that is Heather.

As well as we all know the stories of couple who get married way too young and don't really know each other and end up growing up into different people and then becoming incompatible.

I think that Veronica may have always deserved a truly passionate partner but I know that outside of my initial courtship that's not necessarily me.

I'm sure there will be more once she gets home but thank you ST for serving as my sounding board

Responses:

Sorry to hear about this. Sending good thoughts your way. -- nm - Walt_Disney May 26, 14:05
The anger will come, trust me. And don't fight it. Let it come out - amoxy May 26, 13:38 1
- Yeah. I think I'm getting there and without the shock and awe of Friday night perhaps this afternoon's talk will go differently - JD May 26, 13:41
Honestly, I wanted you to dump her after the Twilight fiasco. She simply is not good enough for you. I'm sorry she has caused you such inordinate pain - David May 26, 13:15 7
- You just made me realize FB could be an issue going forth -- nm - JD May 26, 13:39 1
  - I'll put it like this. Thanks to the power of social media, I figured out the other person involved in about 90 seconds. - David May 26, 13:46
- I, uhhhh... - JD May 26, 13:36 4
  - Basically, my daddy dander has been raised. - David May 26, 13:42 3
    - !!!!! - JD May 26, 13:48 2
      - Honey, it's beautiful that you would even consider trying. - David May 26, 13:58 1
        
        All of this. Well said. -- nm - Heisenberg May 26, 14:12
Aw shit. -- nm - Mop (205 lbs) May 26, 12:53
I don't think there's much to be said that already hasn't been stated, but you seem like a stand up guy and it's her loss. Sorry man. - Heisenberg May 26, 12:42
you are not an idiot - you were in shock. and... these are all ST-pseudonyms to protect the innocent, right? - Andie May 26, 11:15 13
- I just now got that those names are from Heathers. Just. Now. -- nm - Inigo May 26, 11:26 5
  - More smiles. Even with the current board format and the aka Jason Dean - JD May 26, 11:31 3
    - I honestly thought Jason Dean was...your real name. It's been forever since I've seen Heathers. -- nm - Inigo May 26, 11:38 2
      - you're my name confusing twin. I totally thought that too. Been way too long since I saw it and I was only paying attention to the girls anyway. -- nm - zork May 26, 12:20
      - Oh...I see how it is . Jack Dawson now he was in one of the biggest grossing movies of all time so he's obviously not real - JD May 26, 11:56
  - I have something to tell you about the other JD... - Reagen May 26, 11:27
- (i always figured they were, but now i had to ask) -- nm - Andie May 26, 11:16 6
  - Wouldn't that be amazing 8-) According to ST, there's no innocents to protect ;-) - JD May 26, 11:20 5
    - JD goes way back to the original HSX boards and I certainly remember IRC back in the day. -- nm - Tim May 26, 11:32
    - although i fully expect this, i will confess, i am ever so slightly disappointed. - Andie May 26, 11:23 3
      - You are completely entitled to your disappointment. And it made me smile which is really appreciated at this point - JD May 26, 11:28 2
        
        If I ever did meet you, you'd just be JD. -- nm - droidlet May 26, 12:26
        
        :) -- nm - Andie May 26, 11:29
You're a great guy, and it's telling how you didn't get angry. - Inigo May 26, 11:15 2
- and having some dark thoughts during a time like this is very normal - zork May 26, 11:29 1
  - *chuckle* Dude, I'm M'F' ing JD. - JD May 26, 11:36
Bottom line is, you need to extract yourself from the situation ASAP. -- nm - Spawn Lord May 26, 11:15 21
- Well, yes sort of. - JD May 26, 11:24 20
  - nmbJD - Spawn Lord May 26, 11:31 18
    - Heh, I said mine before I saw yours. (It's pretty obvious, JD.) -- nm - David May 26, 13:48 1
      - heh, was just clicking in to see if I actually had posted it when I was thinking it. -- nm - Spawn Lord May 26, 14:10
    - While it may seem like you're wasting your words as I keep countering. It helps to have ST rage on for me - JD May 26, 11:44 7
      - One thing to keep in mind is that Veronica (I get it now!) is very likely only thinking about herself. - Inigo May 26, 11:50 6
        
        Exactly. And if JD just nods and goes along it justifies her actions. -- nm - Spawn Lord May 26, 11:59 1
        
        Thank to both of you. This one area that I will immediately look into - JD May 26, 12:01
        
        this ... if it's really complex - consult an attoryney - they'll keep your best interest at the forefront when you may not and could have regrets -- nm - JenBro May 26, 11:52 1
        
        eh? attorney even ... sheesh -- nm - JenBro May 26, 11:53
        
        Well on that part I kind of signed up for the bleeding when she did the whole bike shop thing not quite two years ago ;-) -- nm - JD May 26, 11:52 1
        
        If you are the owner or co-owner of that shop, you have to talk to a lawyer asap. - David May 26, 14:00
    - I know and I guess i would have every right to do what - JD May 26, 11:41 7
      - Okay, will make this the last post. - Spawn Lord May 26, 11:45 5
        
        Please see above and if you feel you have something to say then let me have it - JD May 26, 11:50 4
        
        Thanks. I do not want to come across as gloom and doom but I know that what happens next sets a course for where things will go. - Spawn Lord May 26, 12:01 3
        
        hey....I said I was sorry. -- nm - Remlik May 26, 12:03 2
        
        So *this* is how Spawn lost Dome Privileges. -- nm - Beryllium May 26, 12:04 1
        
        he just won't let some thing go. -- nm - Remlik May 26, 12:17
      - it is pretty admirable that you are taking the high road like this, without even being tempted to be a little vengeful. - Andie May 26, 11:42
  - yeah. there will be a lot of untangling. and lots of emotions (stages of grief). *cyber hugs to you* -- nm - Andie May 26, 11:25

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Ok. New thread. Cause it is all about me. Same topic but some details on my reactions and just more details

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