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30,258 words. And yay more NSFW excerpts to post!

"Yeah. But I haven't been able to sleep. Like I said, you've been on my mind the whole time. From the grocery, to study hall, I just don't know Sheldon. Maybe I'm going out of my head, but I think I might like you." Julian's voice seemed strained, as if the emotion behind the words had been stressing him terribly.

Resisting the urge to let a hand drift down under the water to touch parts lower, Sheldon maintained being passive, allowing the salt and hot water to work on his tense muscles. The only problem, of course, was he couldn't help finding the attention flattering. Not to mention arousing.

"I've been called every name in the book being a male cheer squad leader. Fag. Homo. Queer. Never paid it any mind because I always had girls all around me. But now, I don't know. You're not what I was expecting it to be like?" Julian continued to try and explain himself, in spite not being on the witness stand at any particular trial.

"You mean I'm not like what you expected gay guys to be like?" Sheldon clarified.

A bit of silence separated them, before finally Julian sighed, "Yeah."

Sheldon continued to rerun their recent encounters through his head. And while he was sure he wanted to avoid the situation, he knew he'd inevitably run right through it. "I think you've been through a hell of a lot. More than me. Allie was a friend. Tracy was someone I knew of. Where for you, Allie was someone you knew, but Tracy? She was your girlfriend, man."

When Julian didn't respond, Sheldon reached for the sponge with his free hand and started to bathe himself more properly. Nothing was said for a long moment. The sound of water trickling down and splashing into the bath ran along side that of breathing that started to grow heavier.

He didn't want to believe what he was hearing, but he knew exactly what it was. And then, he figured he was caught. If he called Julian out in a negative way, there was no telling where things would go. But if he supported it...

Swallowing hard, Sheldon's voice was barely audible as he asked, "Are you jerking off?"

The question was met with a whimper, and for the slightest of moments, it was possible Julian wasn't indulging in a moment of self pleasure, but instead had allowed emotions to overcome him. Maybe he'd lost the battle of fighting back the sobs that he'd bottled up over the last couple of nights with little sleep?


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